Even more important than the Angels keeping Mark Teixeira – hey, it's not like the LAofA isn't already loaded with power hitters, right? — was keeping record-breaking closer Francisco Rodriguez, or “K-Rod” as the kids and Bizzaro World Madonna call him. But now that the right-handed flame thrower has split for New Yawk, good riddance, already.
Hey, K-Rod, have fun coasting on those ninth inning leads courtesy of the Angels starters, other relievers and Scot Shields now that you've got that stellar Mets relieving corps and — what is it? — two decent starters ahead of you.
Indeed, K-Rod's departure helps the Halos:
-Save money by keeping the juice turned off on Mike Scioscia's defibrillator
-Save Angels Stadium seats for real fans as fantasy league geeks split for the Big Crapple
-Save time cleaning the locker room because La Migra will toss it only half as often
-Save Jose Arredondo from having to hear he's the next K-Rod, seeing as how he probably is
-Save the arm of the chick holding the radar gun since she will be holding it up for less time thanks to a closer with more velocity (heh-heh)
-Save the arm of the chick holding the radar gun since she will be
holding it up less often thanks to a closer who throws fewer balls
-Save Mickey Hatcher from having to make as much small talk in broken Spanglish
-Save our brains from having to hear another stupid Madonna joke
-Save $37 million over three years, but of course