The halo around the Big A at Angels Stadium has hardly been lit up this season–32 times to date–warranting lots of talk of an ousting of Mike Sciosia after 13 years as our skipper. Consequently, the discussion not being had is one of postseason projections and it's certain the Angels will have from October to Spring of next year to mull over the season that should have been one the best in history. To accompany their rumination, we offer to them 20 songs to get them over this debacle.
T.I feat. Lil Kim, “Get Ya Shit Together”
The title speaks for itself but when the Queen B tells a group of guys to do something, they usually take heed.
Kanye West, “All Falls Down”
Just knowing that Kanye west isn't always pissed off and capable of making uplifting music should shine some light on the Halos' situation.
Florence + The Machine, “Shake It Out “
'Cause it's hard to dance when the devils on your back, especially when you are an Angel.
Mariah Carey, “Shake It Off”
In case Florence didn't get her message across, we have another crooner saying the same thing over an R&B beat.
Kurupt, "Sorry (It's Over)”
Like the pretty little voice on the hook says, "it's over.” Let's hope next season is more like another Kurupt's track, "Xxplosive.”
Drake, "Started From The Bottom”
'Cause when you're at the bottom, up is the only way to go.
Justin Timberlake, "Take Back The Night”
…From the Dodgers. As cool as it is to see them on a tear, we'd much rather be the ones getting the glory for setting win records.
Too short, "I'm A Player”
This shall serve as a simple but harmonic reminder of what they're being paid to do on the field.
Linkin park, "Breaking The Habit”
… Please break the habit of blowing games thanks to bad relief pitching.
Yes, burn…every jersey, every helmet. Any of the remaining cheap promotional items from this season. Burn it all.
P. Diddy, "Can't Hold Me Down”
Doing the Diddy dance during the whole off season might not improve batting averages but it'll damn sure keep players' minds off their horrid display this year.
Chumbawumba,”Tubthumping (I get knocked down)”
Please get up Halos and don't let us or Artie down again.
Mystikal, "Bouncin' Back”
The right channeling of Mystikal's energy will have any person pumped to embark on future endeavors. On the other hand it could land an overstimulated person in jail so they should take their Mystikal in moderation.
Tupac, "Keep Ya Head Up”
Try playing this song and walking away uninspired… I dare you.
As sappy as it is, this song is quite the call to be a better person. In our case a better pitcher and hitter.
Daft punk, "Harder Better Faster”
Swing harder. Field better and round bases faster. Getting lucky at the plate a few times wouldn't hurt either.
Bob Marley, "3 Little Birds/Redemption Song”
It'd probably be really therapeutic for the team to roll up a few joints and have a big team session where they could get mota-vated for the next season to the invigorating sounds of Bob and the Wailers
Journey, "Don't Stop Believing”
This song will do one of two things: serve it's purpose as a run-of-the-mill inspirational song or remind players of the 7th inning tradition across town and stir some competitive juices.
Bet your bottom dollar down… Bet your bottom 128 million dollars that a payroll this large can't be this bad again.
Led Zeppelin, "Good Times, Bad Times”
The Halos have had an extra share of bad times this season but with the talent we have combined with some Led Zeppelin should turn us around.