Thanks to Facebook, fan sites and law-enforcement alerts, it seems as if we have seen every known photo and video of Christopher Jordan Dorner created over the past decade or so.
But that hasn't stopped lookiloos, his hunters and conspiracy theorists from confusing the 33-year-old with a whole bunch of people who are NOT the triple-homicide suspect.
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What follows are but 10 who have been or could be mistaken for Chris Dorner:
The 71-year-old was delivering the Los Angeles Times on Redbeam Avenue in Torrance early Thursday when LAPD detectives guarding a “high-value target” of Dorner's filled her blue Toyota Tacoma (a small pickup) with bullets. Hernandez was shot twice in the back and later was reported in stable condition. LAPD Chief Charlie Beck called it an unfortunate case of mistaken identity and says he'll replace the Tacoma. Perhaps his dicks need to get their eyes checked: Dorner had been driving a Nissan Titan (a full-size pickup).
The 47-year-old was helping her mother toss papers on Redbeam. She received stitches on her finger from glass shattered in the shoot-'em-up. Perhaps it's worth noting the women are petite; one of them is not even 5 feet tall. Dorner is 6-foot, 270 pounds. That's certainly relevant to the ladies' lawyer, Glen T. Jonas, who has vowed to sue. Click here for the video these grainy images are based on, which was shot by a Redbeam neighbor.
Law enforcement swarmed a motel on the Point Loma military base Thursday when someone reported seeing Dorner there. It turned out the suspect had checked in last Tuesday, Feb. 5, but he never checked out. That was unfortunate for this unidentified fellow, who said he was in the motel because he had business in the area when he was “bombarded” by cops, prompting him to “put his hands in the air quickly.” (Hat tip to Heavy.com.)
People who support Chris Dorner have taken to Facebook to point out quite publicly they are not Chris Dorner. The goal: not to get shot. The other goal: to shame the LAPD for its brutal past. The other other goal: to make this blog. Roger that!
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So, the fellow who made the video above believes this whole Dorner drama is a conspiracy, maaaan. The LAPD is pulling this whole thing off to further put the people it is supposed to protect and serve under its big blue thumb, goes the theory. First, with the help of the media, much attention was focused on Baltimore Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis–because, you know, we in the press would have otherwise ignored him during that whole Super Bowl thing. Anyway, with Lewis fresh in our collective minds, we were next flooded with images of someone who resembles the gridiron star, Dorner, a former footballer himself. A huge stretch? Well, the first murders linked to Dorner, those of the couple in Irvine, did happen on Super Bowl Sunday.
A photo purporting to show the facial similarities between Dorner and Sunday's Grammy host L.L. Cool J has gone viral. It's also total bullshit. As folks on Reddit so quickly point out, the split-screen image has actually been Photoshopped to make the African-American men look even more similar. Some have gone so far as to call the hack job racist and dangerous–especially given that people who look nothing like Dorner have gotten caught in police gunfire. This is especially freak-out-worthy if you're a certain actor-rapper who plays a cop on TV. Netizens have responded by posting real split-screen images of Dorner and Mr. J to dispel what's already firmly become urban legend.
As pointed out in the crack reporting here, an extremely reliable source believes to have seen someone who resembled Tyler Perry's alter ego–okay, perhaps a bit heavier than the movie mogul–walking downhill toward Running Springs 45 minutes after smoke from a truck later identified as Dorner's was spotted farther up the mountain in Big Bear. If that really was Dorner in the San Bernardino Mountains, his disguise was beyond Navy and LAPD tactics. That's some deep CIA shit!
Since we've hit the acting portion of this list, why not add Rockmond Dunbar, who plays conflicted Sheriff Eli Roosevelt on FX's Sons of Anarchy? Think about it: He's bald, he's bulky and he has fake law-enforcement training. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if the biker gang's nemesis also has phony tactical training from the U.S. Navy. That's how well Dunbar's nailed his part. If nothing else, he should audition for the role of Dorner in the inevitable movie.
Actually, upon further reflection, IronE Singleton of the movie The Blind Side and the TV show The Walking Dead fame would be a better Dorner casting choice. A teddy bear of a guy off-camera, he can turn on the menacing when the director yells, “Roll 'em!” And despite his all-too-brief appearances in the first and part of the second season of AMC's zombie-apocalypse show, he proved to be a fan favorite when he–spoiler alert–abruptly left the cast. That shows Singleton can produce the kind of appeal some have directed Dorner's way. However, until that future movie and its subject are in the can (or, in the case of the latter, in the ground), IronE might want to get a “Not Chris Dorner” tee of his own.
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OC Weekly Editor-in-Chief Matt Coker has been engaging, enraging and entertaining readers of newspapers, magazines and websites for decades. He spent the first 13 years of his career in journalism at daily newspapers before “graduating” to OC Weekly in 1995 as the alternative newsweekly’s first calendar editor.