You know how it goes: “First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in a baby carriage!” It's the same for everyone–even embittered hipsters who view love ironically fall prey to evolution and feel the need to procreate, so to speak. But if you're eschewing all sorts of labels (along with baby sign language and cloth diapers) you might want to see what makes you (inadvertently) a hipster parent. Just, you know, FYI.
10. Your kid has all sorts of ill-fitting handmade hats made by well-meaning friends.
9. You make your kid wear band shirts.
8. You own every single one of the Rockabye Baby! soundtracks.
7. Your kid has a hippie name culled from a jazz musician, a greek god, or a character from a J.D. Salinger book.
6. You insist on using cloth diapers even though you don't have a washer and dryer.
5. Your baby is teething on edamame. (Even if it IS Dora-approved.)
4. Your baby had a Facebook and Twitter account from the womb, using Apple products.
3. His Baby Banz noise-blocking earmuffs are well-worn from FYF Fest, various Hollywood Bowl shows, front row appearances at Fashion Week and mommy's band practice.
2. Your baby has an ironic mullet, or a fauxhawk like Angelina Jolie's kid Maddox.
1. Your kid has been featured on the Sartorialist or Look at this Baby Hipster doing any (or all) of the following: drinking a Pabst, wearing a fake mustache, wearing feathers, playing a ukulele, wearing skinny jeans or a scarf.