You Sure Can Pick 'Em
Matt Bors

You Sure Can Pick 'Em

So, I was riding on the bus. Had a comfy front two-seater and my backpack, lunch, sweat shirt and water all neatly arranged around me. You sat right in front of me, turned to the side so I could see your profile, and stuck your finger way up your nose. I knew you were gonna pull it out and examine it, probably eat it too . . . and I knew if I looked, I’d throw up my breakfast. I looked the other way—but that guy was touching himself. I had to grab all my stuff and move to the back and jam all my stuff on top of me in one seat. Thanks a lot, Mr. Booger Man!

Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations—changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent—to “Hey, You!” c/o OC Weekly, 2975 Red Hill Ave., Ste. 150, Costa Mesa, CA 92626, or e-mail us at



All-access pass to the top stories, events and offers around town.

  • Top Stories


All-access pass to top stories, events and offers around town.

Sign Up >

No Thanks!

Remind Me Later >