See the update at the end of this post on our Mother of the Year telling her children she made a porn video.
ORIGINAL POST, AUG. 22, 11:11 A.M.: So Octomom Nadya Suleman now says that while making her self-pleasure porn video, she achieved her first-ever orgasm.
The TMI and truth factors not withstanding, La Habra's unemployed single mother managed to both birth 14 children and get off without a man, which is all the more remarkable when you consider she did so in reverse of the traditional order.
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“That was my No. 1, first-ever orgasm,” Nads reportedly told HuffPo's Naughty But Nice Rob. “I couldn't even say the word
before that happened. I'm not going to get into my childhood or my
history, but that was probably the most liberating and empowering
experience of my life. It's
taken almost 37 years to learn that. This is not only
for men, but women–especially [those] who are a little bit
uncomfortable with their own sexuality.”
Haven't caught the video–is Octomom: Yanking Udders, I mean, Octomom: Home Alone even out yet?–but for the sake of viewers (you sickos know who you are), one does hope her screams of ecstasy are more pleasing than this (courtesy of Perez TV):
A little inside baseball: audio of this rival to anything on Pet Sounds actually started hitting the webbynets a few days ago, prompting yours truly, who was in no mood to give it a listen, to offer it to our Heard Mentality blog, since the next “Jack Your Body” is at least being billed in certain corners as “music.”
The response from Heard Mentality?
Which, to be fair, is more pleasing to the ear than . . .
The results of a RyanSeacrest.com Octo-song poll are in:
So are comments from the wee KISS-FM/American Idol host's Facebook fans, including Mona Stenzel:
”
UPDATE, AUG. 27, 12:48 P.M.: Octomom Nadya Suleman reportedly confessed to telling her children of her porn video making.
“What's a porn video?” you might imagine one of the three-year-olds then asking. Don't worry, no topic is apparently off the table.
“I raise them in total honesty,” the single, unemployed mother of 14 reportedly tells Celebuzz.com, “but I don't tell them details.”
Wonder if that honesty extends to the roof over their heads (for now) as it's also being reported no one will accept her bids for new housing because of the media circus she invites around her? Foreclosed out of her original La Habra home, Suleman is shopping for new digs.
She apparently claims the same media circus is not effecting her children.
“They're totally desensitized,” she reportedly said of her kids. “We have all been through things together over the years, and our
experiences allowed all of us to pull out strengths we never knew we
possessed.”
Don't worry about her providing for them–or turning to everyone else for financial help anymore. They're set!
“We're in a much, much better place right now,” she is said to have reported, “and I'm extremely positive about the future.”
That's because of her decision to make a porno, despite previously having told Oprah Winfrey she never would.
“I never wanted to delve into the entertainment industry . . . it was the way to make the most money,” Nads explains. “As a mother of 14, I accepted that I had to eat my words, and I own that and I'm proud of that. I'm very proud of the film.
“It was facing one of my ultimate fears: my own sexuality. I was always uncomfortable with sexuality in general-so the film was very liberating and empowering.”
So much so that only the shoppers of her self-pleasure wares need hear from her ever again, right Natalie?
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OC Weekly Editor-in-Chief Matt Coker has been engaging, enraging and entertaining readers of newspapers, magazines and websites for decades. He spent the first 13 years of his career in journalism at daily newspapers before “graduating” to OC Weekly in 1995 as the alternative newsweekly’s first calendar editor.