OMFG U R A DB

Marla Campbell

You were the one who, in the beginning of our relationship, stated that too many people were addicted to their "technical devices," and as a result, people these days didn't know how to talk to each other face to face. When I told you that a past boyfriend broke up with me via email, you were mortified. Funny that after a minor argument the other day, you refused to talk to me for three days, and then finally decided to end the relationship via text after two years. Well, old man, looks like you caught up with the times—weak, insecure, cruel, controlling douchebag. Please mail my hiking shoes and swimsuit to me if you can manage it. By the way, running over your rosebush was honestly an accident, but now I'm glad I did.

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