Not Dead Yet

Matt Bors

You’re the woman on Pine Avenue and Sixth in Long Beach whose dog (which was not a leash) was hit by a car. Instead of rushing to its aid, you walked away. It looked dead, so you just did not want to deal with it, I guess. You got into your new BMW and probably figured you would just get another dog. In case you did not know, dogs are living, breathing animals, not fashion accessories. Although, judging by your fake boobs and lips, I would surmise you were never taught the difference. When the dog you left in the street got up (it had just been knocked unconscious), you got out of your car and called it over to you. It slowly stumbled into your car, and you drove away. I really hope if you’re ever hit by a car, you don’t get off so lucky.

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