Move Over, Unabomber and Unabauer: Here Comes the Unarobber!
First, came The Unabomber.
Roy Bauer, whose bombs are virtual.
Next came The Unabauer.
Courtesy of Orange County Sheriff's Department
Now, for your listening and victimhood pleasure, comes The Unarobber.
The Unabomber is Theodore "Ted" Kaczynski, the mathematician who converted from addition to subtraction with his campaign to send 16 bombs to various targets, including airlines and universities, from 1978 to 1995. He killed three and injured 23. He got the nickname after the FBI referred to the then-unknown suspect's case as "UNABOM" (for "UNiversity and Airline BOMber").
The Unabauer is Roy Bauer, the Irvine Valley College philosophy professor whose Dissent the Blog is a must read for anyone interested in the mayhem wrought by South Orange County Community College District trustees and administrators. (Time trip here for more.) Bauer didn't get his nickname from the FBI, he just happened to be generating heat while the Unabomber was still fresh in everyone's mind. He wouldn't hurt a flea--honest!
The Unarobber is a 5 foot 9 white guy in his 30s who weights 180 lbs. and has short dark hair, a moustache and goatee and some kind of tattoo on the left side of his neck. An armed bank robber, the FBI gave him the nickname because he wears a hoodie and shades--just like the Unabomber.
(It should be noted here that it is within the realm of possibility that Bauer does not even own a hoodie.)
At around 10:45 a.m. Saturday--while the Unabomber was rotting in jail and the Unabauer was likely creating one of his amazingly hilarious photo illustration mash-ups--the Unarobber walked into the Wells Fargo on Alicia Parkway in Laguna Niguel.
He placed a backpack on the counter, pointed a semiautomatic handgun at a pregnant teller and threatened to kill her and her baby if she did not hand over the loot, according to sheriff's deputies.
Wells Fargo Bank has since put up a $10,000 reward for the arrest and conviction of the Unarobber.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you'll never miss OC Weekly's biggest stories. Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts