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L. RON RULES
I am amazed at the poor taste you showed in printing a letter that has no other intention than to promote hate against a religious group (Letters, Jan. 26). L. Ron Hubbard lived a life dedicated to helping others, and some people simply cannot understand it. I would like to extend an invitation to [editor] Will Swaim to reflect on the good that he could do from his position and stop being the vehicle for hatemongers to promote their venom in his publication. He might find it more rewarding to help create a better society than to contribute toward its obvious decay.
Church of Scientology, OC
Maybe it's time for "L. Rod Robins" to wise up and face what he has done to harm this world. He'll be happier, will calm down and stop running around in a circle blaming everyone else. And while he's at it, he might also want to get his head out of his ass.
I guess L. Rod Robins was highly offended by the insert "Clear Body-Clear Mind." I have done the purification program through the Church of Scientology, and it was awesome. If Rod Robins had half a brain, he might be able to understand the concept that after being exposed to the many chemicals in our environment (everything from pollution and food preservatives to medications and street drugs), their residue can lodge in the body and begin to have an effect on a person's outlook on life. But he's probably too busy being cynical and thinking up hate-filled ways to insult others to notice.
I was at Lenen's Pomona show, and I didn't see any tattoos on anyone in Lenen (Rich Kane's "Pomonamania," Jan. 19). The only one who may have had a tattoo was their replacement guitarist, but he isn't a member of the band. I know it's very easy to categorize someone by their appearance, but when doing so, shouldn't you correctly note that appearance?
Rich Kane responds: So, first you tell us that no one in the band has a tattoo, and then you say someone in the band has a tattoo, but he's a replacement. And I'm supposed to see this as evidence of . . . what? And what's up with the attitude? I had nice things to say about Lenen, but apparently, you can only spot the negatives as filtered through the inky blackness of your cold, cold heart. Cheer up!
I have been delighted by the columns of your art critic, Rebecca Schoenkopf. However, in her otherwise delightful exploration of the symbolism of fruit ("Juicy Fruits," Jan. 12), she translates "I would like to buy some condoms, please" as "Je voudrais acheter des condoms, s'il vous plait." As a Frenchman born and raised (though a Californian by spirit), I can tell you that this translation is not only phonetically awkward but also rather offensive. "Je voudrais acheter des preservatifs, s'il vous plait" is not only much more polite but it also sounds much nicer, non?
Irvine Rebecca Schoenkopf replies: Please allow me to humbly apologize and offer the following (true) excuse—someone in editing thoughtfully changed my French from its original "Je voudrais avoir des preservatifs, s'il vous plait" to the offensive "condom." Imagine myhorreur! Naturally, I know the polite way to ask for condoms in French—in fact, I also know the polite way to ask for tampons and condoms in Portuguese. The only Italian I know, however, translates to "I would like to lick you all over." Oh, and in Portuguese, I can also tell you to shut up and take your clothes off, pig!
I know I shouldn't kvetch when readers agree with me, but the letter from Doug Gardener of Mission Viejo left me with an unpleasant mental image (Letters, Jan. 26). Insisting on the complete bodily ascension of Jesus is theologically sound, but it does raise a disturbing question about everyone's favorite relic: the discarded foreskin. While Jesus was making his big up, up and away exit in front of the apostles, was the foreskin wafting heavenward from some less-distinguished location in Palestine? Rather creepy.
Paul Brennan via e-mail
YES. A FOURSOME. WITH WARREN G. HARDING
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Hello, Communist Girl! In church today, I was praying for you and had this miracle revelation that you are actually seeking redemption, and you use your poison pen to purge your soul (Rebecca Schoenkopf's "Fired!" Jan. 26). But actually, I realized you are missing a soul; I find souls are earned. I feel you are crying out for the spanking you never got, but don't worry—this man is not in that game. I am beginning a populist movement in the state to root out evil spirits and poor writers. You belong in both categories. Just a thought from your friend, the loony, communal, lefty . . . Ever want to know the truth, pick up the phone and call me for coffee, if you dare, but I know you are afraid of the truth. Good luck with all your evil dreams. [Dana] Rohrabacher and [Scott] Baugh must love you. Is it true you slept with both of them??
OC Democratic Central Committee
DEPT. OF CORRECTIONS
In his Jan. 19 column "A Clockwork Orange," Matt Coker got Senator Joseph R. McCarthy's middle initial wrong. Thanks to Brian Park for pointing it out.