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STEVIE NICKS ALERT!!
I take issue with your statement that Scott Helberg's clients include gamblers and witches (R. Scott Moxley's "Kooshian Coup?" June 28). I am one of Mr. Helberg's clients. I am the owner of the website www.soulastrologer.com and co-owner of www.witchstar.com. Lady Brenda is my friend and business partner. The Grove of the Green Cobra is a legitimate religious organization operating under the laws of the state of California. Both Lady Brenda and I spend our lives educating ourselves, assisting people with their spirituality, personal growth and healing. The implication in your article was that Mr. Helberg's other clients are charlatans. I resent that implication greatly. However, if someone does feel negatively about the work that Lady Brenda and I do, your article should have mentioned that Mr. Helberg did web design only for our websites. Mr. Helberg is neither a gambler nor a witch. I myself am of no particular religion, either. A person's religious beliefs are subject to First Amendment rights.
However, I do thank you for the free publicity. My assessment of your newspaper is that it belongs in the grocery stands by the registers, along with the Star, The Enquirer and the other trash. Perhaps you should look into this.
TheWeekly's staff psychic responds: (1) You don't need special powers to see the "implication" of Moxley's story. For reasons that remain unclear, the county hired Helberg to study the possibility of privatizing health care. Helberg has no obvious expertise in the subject. When Helberg completed that study, he posted it on his website alongside links to his other clients—witches, astrologers and gamblers. That's odd. (2) You're welcome to the free publicity. (3) We've checked with the grocery stores, and even they won't have us.
ARBY'S IS SO MUCH MORE THAN A PLACE TO 'MEAT'
Arby's is "third-rung" fare (Steve Lowery's "Arby's 'Meat,'" June 28)? Arby's is firmly on the second rung with KFC, Long John Silver's, and the independent burger and burrito joints. Please reserve third-rung designation for the truly wretched, like Der Wienerschnitzel, Yoshinoya or Bumble Bee. At least Arby's "meat" is roasted, instead of the usual bath of a day's worth of gristle fried together. Arby's had Jamocha shakes long before Starbucks made cold coffee flavors trendy. And how can Lowery not mention the fries, with real potato skins that taste like real potatoes? Not the segmented worms of Del Taco or the processed fry paste of Burger King. See, if they have skins, they must come from potatoes. Or at least the skins come from potatoes. Or something!
Steve made no mention of Arby's "staff entertainment value," either. Only at Arby's have I seen servers with such variety of stray hairs, crossed eyes and gapped teeth. We should thank Arby's for creating this hillbilly job-training program—otherwise, they'd be out panhandling at the Special Olympics.
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There is also "Arby's Ergonomics"—putting the white sauce in a dispenser with a black label, and the red sauce in a dispenser with a white label, and the . . . no . . . wait . . . this is getting confusing. But get used to it. Some day, all restaurants will be Arby's!
Anaheim A DOPPELGANGER'S MEMOIR
To Rebecca Schoenkopf: I've been reading the Weekly for years, only because I like your column, and this piece reminded me why ("Breasts, DJs, Breasts, Hot Chicks, House, Trance and Breasts," June 28). I used to want to be you, then I was kind of like you, and now I'm a single working mother and can't be you anymore. I used to go to all the cool parties, clubs and concerts, too. I remember Thunderbirds. I was in the pit at the first Lollapalooza. I can't even remember how many times I passed out in the bathroom at that club next to UC Irvine. I remember Club Rubber before it was Club Rubber. I remember, too, why I stopped going—the long lines, the crowds, the fakeness, as well as my advancing age. Maybe it's mostly because I don't do drugs anymore or can't stand to be around others who do without making fun. That's just cruel, and I don't want to be a big meanie anymore. Let's face it, the young whippersnappers are taking over, and it is their turn.
I'll stay home and play with my three-month-old son because that's now the place to be. My point is: I read your column to relive my youth and wish that somehow I could turn back the clock, do it right and make it last a little longer. So thanks.
via e-mail IT'S SIMPLE, SIMON
Poor Gary Simon (Anthony Pignataro's "Would Somebody Please Tell Gary Simon the Airport Is Dead," April 5). As a result of the March 5 vote for Measure W, he was dropped from the county payroll June 6 with a severance check of $106,000—about seven months' worth of his annual $182,000 salary. Stinging from his failure to peddle an unwanted and unneeded commercial airport at El Toro, Simon published a letter in the June 23 Los Angeles Times complaining that "only about 10 percent of the county's population voted to reject the airport plan. That small percentage made a land-use decision for the entire county." Playing Simon's sorry numbers game, we can state unequivocally that only 7.3 percent of OC residents voted for an airport March 5. Dave Blodgett
Laguna Woods MAKING (UP) THE GRADE
The League of Conservation Voters (LCV) claims its National Environmental Scorecard demonstrates which elected officials had a pro-environment voting record in 2001 and which did not (Dave Wielenga's "Don't Call Him an Environmentalist," May 31). However, important environmental votes were ignored in the scorecard while other issues were included. This rigging of the scorecard seems designed to provide high "environmental" scores to liberal elected officials and lower ones to moderates and conservatives, regardless of their votes on the full range of environmental issues. Bob Bakken