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CAT'S OUTTA THE 'BAG
Hey, you might wanna mention to "Douchebag" Dave Wielenga, your "sports" reporter, that the Angels have never been in a World Series (This Week In Balls, July 26).
National Account Manager
Premium Seating: Los Angeles Angels v Cincinnati Reds
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Los Angeles Angels vs. Cincinnati Reds
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Premium Seating: Los Angeles Angels v TEXAS RANGERS
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Los Angeles Angels vs. Texas Rangers
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The 'Bag responds: Hey, Joel, I don't know what they're paying you to read theWeekly at work—inasmuch as the place is called R&R, I'm assuming it's part of your job description—but for the sake of your national clients, I hope you don't struggle as futilely to keep track of their accounts as you do catching the drift of a simple 250-word sports blurb. Thepoint of the little story was that the Angels have never been in a World Series. That's why this was my first sentence: "The Angels have a shot at the World Series this year, which is as good as it has ever gotten for one of the most star-crossed teams in Major League Baseball history." Driving home that point, this was the way I began my second sentence: "The Angels haven't been in a World Series in 41 years." See, Joel, the Angels joined the American League in 1961. You knew that, right, being such a big "sports" fan? Let's do the math together, shall we, little man: 2002 take away 1961 is . . . come on, you can do it . . . no, put that calculator away . . . aw, don't quit now, you're so close . . . those aren't tears I see, are they? . . . Oh, Joel, I'm sorry . . . let's go for an ice cream . . . better yet, let me take you out to a ball game. Don't worry, I'll keep track of the score.
RIGHT ON TIME, BUT NOT QUITE RIGHT
Now that the Navy and Irvine plan for El Toro is public (Anthony Pignataro's "The Incredible Shrinking Park," Aug. 2 . . . Hey! What th—! That's today!), perhaps we can get a break from the shameless misinformation campaign from Newport Beach residents and the last of the pro-airporters who have been falsely decrying how the voters were misled and Measure W was just a big land grab by Irvine. Let's see: 84 percent of the former base will indeed be a park and there will be no "Great Tax" for OC residents. It's clear now who was misleading the voters with their tax-scare tactics and lies about Irvine's plan for the land. I shudder to think what lie the pro-airporters will dream up next.
Douglas K. Blaul
Anthony Pignataro responds: Impressed as I am with the extra-sensory powers you used to predict I would write about this subject this week, you're unfortunately wrong. To discover how wrong, check out my story.
ARE YOU STILL TALKING ABOUT AUSTIN POWERS?
Austin Powers is derivative, yeah, but I still find it kind of funny (Greg Stacy's "Yeah, Baby, Yeah"; Stacy Davies' This Week in Real '60s Hooters; Mark Olsen's "Nudge Nudge, Wink Wink,"all July 26). I do have one question for you, though: Have you ever seen the French film City of the Lost Children? Talk about your homages!Take a look at it some time, and see if you agree with me that the writers, producers—someone—saw this film and found "Dr. Evil."
via e-mail FYI: 'MEL' IS A WOMAN
Mel Kernahan bizarrely contends that my efforts to hold Anaheim School Board member and Corona del Mar resident Dr. Donald Garcia accountable for his actions are comparable to serial stalking, pedophilia and murder (Letters, July 26). Sorry to disappoint this Laguna Woods grandma, but a year before Nick Schou wrote about me ("Bring Me the Head of Donald Garcia," July 19), I made similar "confessions" about this "serial stalking" under interrogation by an investigator from the OC district attorney's office. Rather than handcuff me and haul me off to jail, he congratulated me for exposing a dishonest politician. Kernahan's letter did not disclose that she has a very close relationship with Garcia. Her husband is Galal Kernahan, who teams with Amin David to run the Latino civic organization Los Amigos of Orange County with an iron fist; all three of them, incidentally, were strong supporters of Garcia's bid for the Anaheim School Board seat in 2000. Given that my exposure of Garcia's shenanigans has ended his career in politics and tarnished Los Amigos' reputation in Orange County, it's not surprising Mrs. Kernahan resorted to smear tactics. There isn't anything she can offer to defend his outrageous conduct.
Duane J. Roberts
As a parent, I am offended that an innocent child's murder is being used by Mel Kernahan to discredit the actions of a man who was just trying to expose a school board member who does not live or have children who go to school in the district he serves.
Anaheim MORE OLD GUYS
Hey! You wrote that 00 Soul has lost "a couple of the old guys on horns" (Rebecca Schoenkopf's "Crystal Visions," July 26). Those "old guys" are sax/flute player Jack Fulks and trumpet player Hank Ballard Jr. Jack is a graduate of the USC School of Music and has played with the Afro Blues Quartet, Billy Higgins, Chico Hamilton, Roy Porter and Garbo Szabo. Hank's credits include stints with Lonnie Smith, War, James Brown and Theodore Wilson. Only Hank moved to Ohio. Jack, "an old guy on horn," is still with us, and we sound better than ever. Peace.
via e-mail WE'RE GOOD AT OUR JOBS
Your paper makes me upchuck. Mincing, smugly, self-effacing, pseudo-literate chaff turned out by spoiled, foppish, probably homosexual writers. Which means it's perfect for this county. Keep it up.
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