[Hey, You!] Beef Board!

Matt Bors

Let me give you a little tip. Advertisements for beef should be appealing and make you want to actually eat some red meat. When I look at a panoramic view of cliffs and little trees and realize to my horror that the cliffs are made of hunks of perfectly browned, sinuous beef, I want to hurl myself right off the highest beef ridge into the gravy river and an early death. I like pizza, too, but you don’t see those folks trying to twist the uses of pizza into the obvious hub cap on a car or the possibly less obvious hanging slice that covers a female nether region. Food photographers are really quite good, and if you ask them to photograph a plate of food, they can make you imagine the juicy steak you’re about to enjoy is going to be served by a beautiful host at a restaurant that overlooks a real ocean. Don’t tell me beef is what’s for dinner, and then show me a picture of something I can drive on with my little Hummer made out of peppercorns.


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