Let this be a warning to any person who may get cut off by a giant black SUV—a Ford Expedition, I think—with a huge white eagle sticker across the entire rear windshield. The SUV will cut you off in traffic, immediately hit the brakes, and hop a curb to get into a gas station. Now if you choose to honk, be prepared for the SUV to suddenly not need gas, turn around, follow you for a few blocks, tailgate you like a monster, speed up, cut you off yet again, and then make a U-turn at the nearest street. Once the SUV has completed this process, it will be passing you in the opposite lane, just missing your small car, and proceed to speed away, presumably because the psycho behind the wheel has suddenly remembered that his gas-guzzling ass needs gas again.
Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations—changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent—to "Hey, You!" c/o OC Weekly, 1666 N. Main St., Ste. 500, Santa Ana, CA 92701-7417, or e-mail us at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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