To the lady in the black BMW SUV whom I followed out Laguna Canyon Road: I was following you on my motorcycle when your window rolled down and your outstretched arm casually dropped a piece of trash onto the road. This was no mere gum wrapper—I know because it hit my windscreen as I went by. I flashed my lights at you, but your window promptly rolled up, and you continued driving. I suppose your BMW is only equipped with cup holders and a cell phone, and there's just no room for a trash receptacle. I noticed that cute glass dolphin you have hanging from your rear-view mirror. I suppose whatever was written on that piece of trash you threw out was something you wanted your dolphin friends to read. Rest assured they'll receive it—when it ends up in their home after the next rain. Hopefully, they'll understand your method of communication. What was even more baffling was when I saw you pull into the Laguna Beach Animal Shelter. Thanks for working so hard to keep our environment so clean.
Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations—changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent—to "Hey, You!" c/oOC Weekly, P.O. Box 10788, Costa Mesa, CA 92627-0247, or e-mail us at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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