DAD'S DONUT SHOP & BAKERY This is where Balboa Island locals hang in the wee morning hours before work, munching on their apple fritters while talking about market swings and goddamned liberals. The doughnuts are good, but the peppermint ice cream and Balboa Bars are outstanding. Stay away from the frozen bananas, unless you enjoy gnawing on a rock-hard piece of fruit. Not that there's anything wrong with that. 318 Marine Ave., Balboa Island, (949) 673-8686.

DANA POINT This seaside community is most famous for its namesake, Richard Henry Dana Jr. In his 1840 nautical novel Two Years Before the Mast, the seaman described the area, then known as San Juan Cove, as "the only romantic spot in California" (obviously, he hadn't seen the twin domes of San Onofre). The most conspicuous change to the area since Dana's trip, one that probably would cause him to rethink his compliment, is the creation of the harbor. Started in 1966 and formed by bringing in tons of rocks for breakwaters and sand for beaches, the harbor has been an economic boon to the area, with slips for more than 2,500 boats and plenty of shops and restaurants. However, in terms of environmental impact, not only has it killed the surfing at Doheny State Beach—and with it the famous Killer Dana break—but it has also significantly altered the ecosystem. Once considered a safe place for kids to swim, the harbor's Stillwater Beach—more commonly known as Baby Beach—is one of California's most polluted (along with Doheny). Other polluted areas children should avoid: Union Carbideland; Jenny Jones Show; Neverland Ranch DANA POINT MARINE LIFE REFUGEAnemones, limpets, sea stars, crabs and a host of other creatures live in the protected tide pools. If you want to venture beyond this area, there is a sea cave at the tip of the Headlands. Be sure you've got your timing right; you don't want to get stuck when the tide comes in. Below the Dana Point Headlands at the end of the breakwater. DAY LABORERS Every day (even the Lord's Day), jornaleros throughout Orange County re-enact America's modern-day human tragedy: the search for work. They'll stand on street corners near hardware stores and jostle one another for the chance to earn substandard wages. One gets lucky; the rest continue the comedy under the brutal sun. See also: Les Miserables; Reaganomics; NAFTA DENDROPHILIA 1.Urge to couple sexually with plant life. 2.Isamu Noguchi's California Scenario in Costa Mesa features a mound rising seductively from the surrounding flatness. A triangular patch of lush turf from which emerge tall, rigid, cylindrical forms. Wetness flowing from beneath the irregular slit and a long, narrow form piercing the sky above it, connected yet apart. Sure, the mound represents the desert. The greenery, the forests. The rising piece of slick stone, the mountains feeding the rivers, but California Scenario is a peaceful garden, a hidden secret where whispers of nature can be heard, and who's to say someone hasn't answered the call of the wild there? DESAID, ShashinThe artistic director of Long Beach's International City Theatre no longer wants the Weekly to review his theater's shows and has stopped sending us information about upcoming productions—even though we awarded an ICT production of Orphansour much-coveted OCIE Award for Best Play in 1999. DETROIT BAR Destroyed one of the best pastimes in Orange County: grousing about how there's nothing to do around here. We were happy whining about having to go to Hollywood just to dance in a good nightclub or see one interesting band. Do you think we appreciate our savings in gas and travel time? You bastards. Do you think we're happy you bring bands like Stereolab and John Spencer Blues Explosion deep into Orange County? Do you presume we enjoy left-of-center clubs such as Night of the All-Girl DJs or Post? Or the fact we can go someplace local every night of the week and not hear Top 40? What can we joke about now? What can people from LA do to razz us about our bar-band culture? You've got some nerve, Detroit. And while we're seething, can you put us on the guest list for tomorrow night? Please?843 W. 19th St., Costa Mesa, (949) 642-0600. DINH, VIETThe 34-year-old Orange County-bred Justice Department official (and darling of the Right-wing) crafted last year's notorious USA Patriot Act, the largest expansion of unchecked federal powers in modern history. Apparently, unable to understand elementary constitutional principles, Dinh has argued that boosting secretive police powers actually increases individual rights. But we're not surprised by such twisted logic. Dinh is a disciple of former OC Congressman Bob Dornan, who often claimed it was the government's responsibility to enforce a strict moral code on citizens. DiPIAZZA Established in 1952, this award-winning Italian restaurant received Best Pizza honors in the Entertainment Book for five straight years. It offers a huge menu selection, including American dishes; you'll want to try the enticing chicken piccata, fettuccine Alfredo, lasagna, shrimp and pastas. The chicken Parmesan melt sandwich and the calamari steak will create lasting memories in your stomach. Plus, they sell Fernet Branca, which will cure your cholera. 5205 E. Pacific Coast Hwy., Long Beach, (562) 498-2461. DIRECT DIAL TRAILDemanding and steep, this 0.3-mile technical singletrack will challenge even the most capable cyclist. Beginning at the West Ridge Trail, one mile from Top of the World in Laguna Beach, the trail plummets to the city Dog Park on Laguna Canyon Road. Fido and his buddies will happily pee on your smoldering carcass after you lawn dart at the bottom. Aliso Wood Canyon, (714) 831-2791. DISAPPOINTMENT 1.In 2000, Larry Agran got himself elected Irvine's mayor again. It seemed like a wonderful thing at the time. Throughout the 1980s Agran was the only unabashed liberal in Orange County municipal government and an implacable foe of the Irvine Co.'s myriad developments. Beautiful Quail Hill will remain open and undeveloped because of Agran's fight. Irvine under Agran was the first city in America to ban CFCs. The abuse he took from the right wing—some of it anti-Semitic—was crude but largely ineffective. Far more dangerous was the Irvine Co. Frustrated by Agran's slow-growth policies, in 1990, the developers succeeded in tossing Agran from office. During the years out of power, Agran made two choices. First, to vigorously oppose the county's El Toro Airport plans. Second, and far less public, was to moderate his anti-development views. Though still a liberal, Agran no longer attacks city development. His running unopposed for mayor in 2000 was a chilling message to the rest of the city: Agran, far from an enemy of sprawl, had become the candidate of choice among the city's powerful home builders. Huge Irvine Co. projects, such as the Northern Sphere, which will add 34,000 new residents to the city, sailed through with hardly any criticism. And every new draft of the city's Great Park plan for El Toro has more and more residential and commercial development. Trust us, it didn't used to be like this. 2.As long as Loretta Sanchez lives, the 69th Congressional District seat is hers. Sanchez is so entrenched that Republicans have ceded permanent control to her. So what has she done for the Latino constituents who fueled her victory? She staunchly supported an INS station in the Anaheim jails; supported the Bush administration in nearly every turn in the War on Terrorism; and joined the Blue Dog Coalition, the most conservative wing of an increasingly conservative Democratic Party. This should come as no surprise: as Loretta Brixey the Republican, Sanchez lost her race for the Anaheim school district board of trustees. In 1996, she changed her name from Brixey to Sanchez and her party affiliation from Republican to Democrat. In other words, she has become nothing less than Bob Dornan (the nut she replaced) with ovaries. See also: Lou "Tell Me What to Do" Correa; Crystal Pepsi; Amin David; Vanilla Coke; Libertarian Druids; Jim Carrey's Career; Druid Libertarians; Truly Free Internet Porn
Single most identifiable
icon/landmark/tourist destination/cultural
target/hackneyed joke/happiest/naziest place in
the county. At once both attractive and repulsive,
it is the first place loutish visitors and their
squalling progeny demand to be taken and the
place those same children will be dragged
from screaming, their parents threatening
physical violence. Disneyland runs Anaheim and
is second only to the Irvine Co. when it comes
to calling the shots in Orange County.
700 W. Ball Rd., Anaheim, (714) 780-9768.
Pioneer of modern animation, theme parks, neo-fascist politics and getting your head frozen after you're dead. He also supposedly had a fetish for butts—his inspiration for the phrase "The Happiest Place on Earth." DISTRACTION, THE This is the band you book when the Stitches are busy. Warning: may soon be adding keyboards. See also: The Stitches. DIVERSITY Anaheim nightclub JC Fandango is one of the best Latin-music venues in the country. But what makes this place a sociological wonder are the wildly diverse crowds it attracts. A typical week will have the people of various races dancing to Fandango's excellent in-house salsa orchestra Friday replaced by countless Venezuelans and Dominicans having dance-floor sex to a merengue band on Saturday. Sunday brings out the Central Americans and Colombians, with their simple cumbia and vallenato rhythms, who would fight with the hipster Argentines and other Latinos who swarm to the club to check out the latest Latin alternative act. Los carajos quickly flee Tuesday, when the metaleros come in, ready to crash skulls to their favorite Mexican death metal bands. A couple of them stay on with the skabrones for a Thursday Skandangolandia festival. And once in a great while, the chntaros come in to dance to the waltz-and-polka rhythms of Mexican regional. Best of all, everyone dances to the best selections in the world, thanks to owner Javier Castellanos' extraordinary vision of not only what sells, but also what is truly groundbreaking. 1086 N. State College Blvd., Anaheim, (714) 758-1057. DR. FREECLOUD'S MIXING LABOldest electronic/techno specialty store in OC. This is the spot to pick up new mixes, test out new sampling techniques, gobble up piles of rave fliers—some you might actually want to go to—and chat up owner Ron D Core, an expert spinner in his own right. At the Lab, 2930 Bristol St., Ste. A-109, Costa Mesa, (949) 650-0909. DORNAN, ROBERT KENNETH "BOB" During his years as an OC congressman, Dornan proved it was possible to argue constantly for war but somehow forget to volunteer for combat duty when he was eligible; have a history of violent spousal abuse but attack other people's "family values"; scream about runaway federal government spending but cast the deciding vote for a congressional pay raise; claim he was the "third poorest" member of Congress but quietly live in a massive, five-bedroom, riverfront Virginia mansion; berate gays as "evil" but employ a homosexual as his longtime travel companion and congressional chief of staff. DOUGHERTY, ALOYSIOUS III Costa Mesa painter and bon vivant. Shaved head, cigarettes, muscles. Looks like Popeye, paints like Picasso. Buy his work because you love it; keep it because it's outperforming the Dow Jones. Apparently offices at Costa Mesa coffeehouses. DUNN, JOEThe soft-spoken and articulate state senator from Santa Ana proves that a Orange County Democrat can remain principled. Are you listening, Loretta?


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