Another Satisfied Reader
Illustration by Bob Aul"The meals were wonderful," you told me as you left your table and we walked toward the front door. Then suddenly you stopped and stared in horror of what I had displayed in the front walkway of my restaurant. "That publication only caters to whores and prostitutes," you proudly announced in front of your wife and two friends as if preaching to the choir. Delighted to have a witty conversation with another ancient resident hailing from the "Old Town" city of Orange, I smiled and informed you that the OC Weeklywas in fact a very informative newspaper dealing with many topics originating here in Orange County and that the paper generally offers a different and fresh perspective not found in mainstream-media outlets. Realizing that I wasn't going to agree with your opinions, you hit me where you thought it might hurt. You beamed in confidence as you once again took center stage in front of your friends and told me that even though our food was great, you refused to dine in my establishment as long as the OC Weekly was still being displayed there. Smiling, I informed you of the sadness I instantly felt and expressed how I thought it was mundane to be willing to sacrifice what you had already called a great meal to boycott a newspaper that you weren't being forced to read. Making your final address, you made your move toward the front doors, yelling that you only read what you didn't consider to be filth. Instantly, as though an act of pure karma, you failed to read the plainly posted sign attached to my front doors instructing you which door to use. You slammed chest- and nose-first into a locked door. Maybe you should spend less time putting down what other people choose to read and open your own eyes. It may open some new doors to your future.
Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations—changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent—to "Hey, You!" c/o OC Weekly, 1666 N. Main St., Ste. 500, Santa Ana, CA 92701-7417, or e-mail us at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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