You know, we get a lot of letters here at OC Weekly worldwide headquarters! And most of them are about the notoriously cute Rebecca Schoenkopf, a.k.a. Commie Girl! Got something you need to know? Afraid you'll run into the Girl out on the town and won't be able to remember her favorite color? Clip and save this handy guide, and don't leave home without it!
Aaargh. Is Commie Girl a pirate?
Yes. Go away.
What's wrong with her eye?
She lost it in a rock fight when she was 8. You think that's fucking funny?
Is Commie Girl really a Commie?
Commie Girl is a Socialist, but if she called herself "Socialist Girl," all of the clubbers and those who live in Huntington Beach would think she meant she was social. "Commie" is literary license.
Does Commie Girl have a boyfriend?
Why not? She is really cute.
We're not sure, but we suspect there is something terribly wrong with her.
How old is Commie Girl?
She is 27 years old.
What is her favorite color?
If Commie Girl won the lottery, would she still be a Socialist?
Is Commie Girl a big Jew?
Commie Girl is half a big Jew; her other half is Catholic. Don't tell us that's not possible, Mister! It's not up to you to decide if people are Catholic and Jewish!
Is Alison M. Rosen Commie Girl?
No. Rebecca Schoenkopf is Commie Girl. We bet Alison's feelings are pretty hurt that you people all keep asking her if she's Commie Girl as soon as they find out she works here at the Weekly. Maybe you should stop doing that.
How is Commie Mom?
She's fine; thank you for asking!
What is the capital of South Dakota?
Will Commie Girl put me in her column?
Are you cute? Are you interesting? Then no. She will not.
Are those real?
Shut yo' mouth.
How did Commie Girl start working at the Weekly?
She was hired as the founding copy editor three months after she graduated from New York University. Then she got fired. Then she got hired back—with a big promotion. Then she quit.
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Does Commie Girl remember me?
No. She's just pretending to.
Can I buy Commie Girl a drink?