Our Anti-Valentine's Day Playlist
Jena Ardell

Our Anti-Valentine's Day Playlist

We're nixing Valentine's Day this year and instead bitterly dancing alone to these anti-love songs. We recommend sharing this playlist with your ex, along with a sexy nude pic so he knows what he's missing. (On second thought . . . maybe you shouldn't). Oh, well. Enjoy:
We promise you're not on ours . . .
"When I get mad and I get pissed/I grab my pen and write out a list/Of all you assholes who won't be missed/You've made my shitlist."

Straight to the point:
"Don't ever look my way/Don't even think I'm playin'/'Cause I fucking hate you/You're such a liar/And I love to hate you/You're all the same to me/When you repeatedly/Take advantage of me/The only thought I get of you sickens me."

We envision Ethan Hawke singing to Wiona Ryder (as he did in Reality Bites) every time we hear this:
"Why can't I get just one screw?/Why can't I get just one screw?/Believe me, I'd know what to do/But something won't let me make love to you."

"You, you don't kiss when you kiss/You don't f*ck when you f*ck/You don't say what you mean/You don't talk loud enough/No pulse in your impulse/Celebration's impossible."

The greatest R&B breakup song from the '90s. It's so pleasant-sounding it's almost passive-aggressive:
"The very things that made me love you/Are the things pushing me away now/In tears, we stand here/With nothing left to say/And all I could do for you/I should've done before now/In tears, we stand here/There's nothing, nothing left to say."

6. The Buzzcocks, "Ever Fallen In Love . . . (With Someone You Shouldn't've)"
We've all been there:
"I can't see much of a future/Unless we find out what's to blame/What a shame/And we won't be together much longer/Unless we realize that we are the same/Ever fallen in love with someone?/Ever fallen in love? . . . In love with someone/You shouldn't've fallen in love with?"

Fiona Apple's live cover (with Costello!) is even more haunting than the original.
"It's the stupid details that my heart is breaking for/It's the way your shoulders shake and what they're shaking for/It's knowing that he knows you now after only guessing/I want you/It's the thought of him undressing you or you undressing/I want you."

Listen to this track on repeat before you hit the town, in search of a one-night stand:
"Love leaves you desperate and feeling a fool/Love makes you ruthless, and love makes you cruel/And love makes you crazy, with nothing but lies/Love promises nothing, and then your love dies."

There's so much anger in the chorus:
"(She's so) Raunchy, so vulgar, not me, why the hell her/Look, she dresses (look at her)/A mess, what do you see (I don't know) . . . I hate you so much right now/I hate you so much right now/Ahhhhh . . . /I hate you so much right now/I hate you so much right now/I hate you so much right now/Ahhhhh . . . /I hate you so much right now."

Classic anti-love anthem; make sure you don't include the censored version: 
"Now I know/That I had to borrow/Beg and steal and lie and cheat/Trying to keep ya/Trying to please ya/'Cause being in love with your ass ain't cheap/I pity the fool/That falls in love with you."

She couldn't have packed more angst in this song if she had tried:
"'Cause the joke that you laid on the bed that was me/And I'm not gonna fade/As soon as you close your eyes and you know it/And every time I scratch my nails down someone else's back/I hope you feel it . . . Well, can you feel it?"

We bet the new girl dresses like a hoochie:
"I got my new girl or, as I say, my baby doll/But I'm still gettin' crazy calls, my ex-girl's got balls/Don't wanna play the field 'cause/I get lovin' at home base/Don't gimme no long face, just exit with a grace/You and I are the past, c'est la vie, much respect girl/But now you're my ex-girl 'cause I'm on with the next girl."

Listen to this song after you delete (or block) each other on Facebook:
"But you didn't have to cut me off/Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing/And I don't even need your love/But you treat me like a stranger, and that feels so rough . . . Now you're just somebody that I used to know."


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