My Boyfriend May Be a Pimp. Help!
[Editor's note: Rap pioneer and Geto Boys member Willie D answers reader questions for our sister paper, Houston Press. Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!]
Photo courtesy of Peter Beste
Dear Willie D:
I have been seeing a guy for a little while now and he is always with me, but we don't do anything outside of being at my house. I feel like he is embarrassed of me or something. I treat him like a king and he knows I like him, but he is so emotionally detached. On top of that I think he's a pimp. Please help!
A pimp? How do you conclude that he might be a pimp by him not doing anything in public with you? It appears that you're only telling part of the story. Maybe he is a homebody like me. But not quite, because I'm mindful that women like to get out, do things and go places. They also like public displays of relationship affirmation, so periodically I reserve quality time outside of the house to spend with my lady.
Action speaks louder than words, but unless he tells you directly that he is embarrassed by you I don't think you should waste unnecessary energy thinking the wrong thing. As long as the people who are important in your lives know that you're together, nobody else matters. Well, not unless that nobody is the police.
You see, he could be a fugitive on the run from the law who's using your pad as a hideout to lay low until things cool off. So if you're ever sitting at home watching America's Most Wanted on TV with him, and you see his picture pop up, play sleep.
SOMETHING TO WINE ABOUT
Dear Willie D:
I just moved into my neighborhood. One of my neighbors, who claims he was a rep for a wine distributor gave us a housewarming gift; a half-empty bottle of white wine. Is he trying to say something to me?
He's trying to tell you that he's half a neighbor.
More Willie D wisdom on the next page.
Dear Willie D:
I just started my freshman year of college and have a sloppy roommate. Every time we cook a meal and have dirty dishes or have dirty laundry that needs to be washed, I always feel like I am left with cleanup duty. Sometimes I let them sit out for a day or so just to see if he will clean up. When I do, the dirty dishes and dirty laundry are always left out and I end up cleaning up.
I do not mind cleaning up my portion of the mess, but I do not think I should have to clean up after him, too. I am not sure if I should say something to him or just see if he will take responsibility and clean up after himself for once. I am afraid if I tell him how I feel he will get upset. Should I speak up about the situation or just continue to do the work?
Clean Up Man:
You should definitely speak to your roommate about his nasty living habits. But I doubt that it will do any good because he is a certified slob. If you really want to rid yourself of all that filth, don't try to change your roommate; change your address.
Dear Willie D,
I am newly married, have three kids, work, and attend college full-time. I am also taking care of my father who is a quadriplegic. My husband was recently medically retired from the military and spends most of his days at home, doing nothing. He was retired because he was battling brain cancer, but he is now in complete remission; thank God.
My frustration is that he is home and doing nothing. I have tried every possible approach to get him to carry his weight around the house, and get him to understand that this is a very reasonable expectation. What do you suggest I do?
Although everyone's body recovers at different rates, knowing how long your husband has been in remission would have been useful in assessing your situation. Many people continue to work and be active straight through cancer treatment and remission, while others are too weak to think straight. I'm not a fan of lazy dudes, but the man just beat cancer, so I'm inclined to err on the side of compassion rather than callousness.
If you truly believe your husband is physically able to contribute to your household obligations, talk to him and explain to him that marriage is a partnership. If he pulled his weight before he took ill chances are he will again, so try to be patient. Most people who have been married vowed to stay together for better or worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, until death do them part.
However, the first time their spouse leave dirty draws on the floor or fail to empty the dishwasher, those same people will tell you that's easier said than done.
Ask Willie D anything at askwillied.com, and come back soon for more of his best answers.
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