Guess who's back? Back again? Yes folks, Eminem has returned with a new album. This time, the oddly constant-comeback theme of his second run seems more evident than ever with its title The Marshall Mathers LP 2. Longtime fans should be surprised to discover the opening track is "Bad Guy," something of a sequel to longtime Eminem favorite "Stan." Given how sequel-minded both Em's new album and many hip-hop veterans have been lately, here's our picks for five more Eminem songs we want sequels to."Lose Yourself Again"
Eminem shares the recipe for Mom's Spaghetti."Son of Stan"
So, yes, we already do have our "Stan" sequel in "Bad Guy," but what if this was merely the second installment of a full-blown "Stan" franchise? We at the Weekly think the most compelling avenue to take the series would be a song from the perspective of Stan's unborn child who's not only somehow survived, but is now 13 and infinitely perplexed as to why his late father was so obsessed with the guy who made "Berzerk.""Dave From White Castle: Life Support"
In Eminem's breakout single "My Name Is," Em mentions a guy at White Castle asking for his autograph, which he signs "Dear Dave, thanks for the support, asshole." A rude gesture, especially considering this was before Eminem was in any way famous beyond local battles. Now image you're mild-mannered Dave who's had this exchange and later watched the jerk in question become the biggest thing in the world. Perhaps Dave could be on a vengeance mission, only to discover Em's been harboring regret for the incident for years and wants to apologize as this was the moment he broke bad and his personal life took a terrible turn?"Guilty Conscience II: Guiltier Conscience"
The original "Guilty Conscience" was praised for the original concept of Eminem and Dr. Dre playing the part of angel and devils on shoulders as a group of young people contemplate robbing a store, date rape and murdering a cheating lover. Of course, this was fourteen years ago and now hearing Em and Dre visit the same scenarios might sound like a lecture from a school assembly. Perhaps now we could have the duo swoop in on a parent debating whether it's OK to let their child know that they're stealing cable, cheating on their taxes or making a risky addition to their portfolios. Also, violence.
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So what do you say to somebody you hate? Or anyone trying to bring trouble your way? Tell them Detox is coming, and they'll quickly forget how mad they are at you and become an angry mess, tormented by the frustration of Dr. Dre being now eleven years late on his long-awaited third album. While, yes, he's making some fine money in the headphones business, he's quickly closing in on eclipsing Chinese Democracy as the most delayed anticipated album of the modern era. Just one track with a fire lit under the both of them would be enough to carry us over into excitement that one day this long-awaited release will finally come out.