[Editor's note: Rap pioneer and Geto Boys member Willie D answers reader questions for our sister paper, Houston Press. Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!]
Photo courtesy of Peter Beste
Dear Willie D:
Last month my grandfather died without a living will. As a result, his ex-wife --who he married after divorcing my grandmother -- buried him where she lives in Spokane, Wash., which meant that only me and a few of my family members could be there to pay respects. Before he died he and I visited my grandmother's gravesite and he told me he wanted to be buried next to her here in Queens, N Y.
When I shared the information with his second wife she refused to respect his wishes. I don't know how she became the executor of his estate, but she was in charge of all the funeral arrangements, and they haven't been married in over 20 years. I want to bring my grandfather's remains back home to his requested resting place. Additionally, I have inquired about details of his insurance policy, which is believed to be substantial. Not for myself, but for my children whom he absolutely doted over.
I was very close to my grandfather. We talked almost daily. I don't care about the money, but as a mother, if he was kind enough to make my children beneficiaries it's my responsibility to make sure they receive whatever he wanted them to have. This woman's egregious handling of my grandfather's estate has saddened my whole family. She continues to reject any communications with me. Do you think I should just drop it or get a lawyer, and take her to court?
Get a lawyer.
DOUBLE STANDARD SOCIETY
Dear Willie D:
I'm a single woman who would like to know why is it that men can sleep around and be considered a player, but if a woman does it she's a slut or ho?
The stigma against women sleeping around has existed before our ancestors and will outlast our descendants. From the time we are young, both boys and girls are taught that a woman is virtuous. That's why as men to show our respect for women, other double standards exist. We are taught to open doors, give up our seat, pull out chairs, pick up the check on a date, provide, protect, and not hit women under any circumstances.
Sleeping around, whether you're a guy or a girl, is a symbol of immaturity. Most adult men understand that by the time he dates her, his woman will have some sexual experience. But no man wants to be the dude with the girl at the party that the other dudes are snickering at because she's been passed around. As with rental cars that everybody use, and abuse, men are wired to believe only a sucker will buy one after it has served its purpose.
More sage Willie D advice on the next page.
I SLEPT WITH MY BEST FRIEND'S MOM
Dear Willie D:
One week ago today I slept with my best friend's mom. It was one of my wildest fantasies, and I'm happy I achieved that goal. But now I live with guilt, and I want to break it down to him before he hears it from someone else. What do I do?
You are either happy you achieved the goal of sleeping with your best friend's mom or you're living with guilt; it can't be both. If I were to compile a short list of things my best friend could do to cause me to kick him to the curb, sleeping with my mother would be right up there at the top with him shooting me.
What the two of you did was foul. There are some secrets in life you should take to your grave. Sleeping with your best friend's mom is one of them.
EVERYBODY SAYS I SHOULD BREAK UP WITH HIM
Dear Willie D:
I just started seeing a boy who I like a lot, but my friends and other people that know him have told me to leave him alone. They say he is a bad seed because he smokes weed, drinks alcohol, and gets into trouble often. I have seen him smoke weed and drink, but we've been together for a month and he hasn't been in trouble. I'm a young girl and this dating stuff is new to me. What should I do?
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!
When people who know you personally say the person you're dating is trouble, they're usually right. You're a young girl, but you are wise beyond your years because you're asking questions. Most girls would chalk it up as jealousy or hating. Is your boyfriend a lush or does he drink and smoke occasionally? I ask because there's this guy who drinks from time to time, and he used to smoke weed. Now he's the 44th President of the United States.
Follow your instincts, but if you choose to stick around be prepared to get used to weekend visits and calls with a prerecorded message that starts off like this: "Hello, you have a call from an inmate at a correctional facility..."