Eight Days

Thurs/June 24 Strap on your extra liver: it's Your Anaheim Angels vs. the Oakland Athletics! So who are all these people who can go to a 1:05 p.m. game on a Thursday?Do you suppose this might be some poor planning on the part of the Major Leagues? DO you? Now, I understand about the Warped Tour—see Thursday, July 1—as no grown-ups with jobs would be caught dead there. But the Angels? This ain't 1931; kids don't go to baseball games (or the track) all by their newsboy-cap-wearing lonesomes. God, it's gonna look like a Clippers game in there, so if you have the day off, please go represent. See website for ticket prices. Angel Stadium, 2000 Gene Autry Way, Anaheim, (888) 796-HALO; anaheim.angels.mlb.com.

Fri You know what's superhot? Gymnastics. All that tight little booty in all that tight little Lycra. Fuckin' yeah! And nothing's hotter than the gymnastics Olympic Team Trials. See the nation's top male and female gymnasts compete for spots on the U.S. Olympic Team. USA! USA! And stuff. See the website for times. $65-$360. Arrowhead Pond, 2695 E. Katella Ave., Anaheim, (714) 740-2000; www.2004gymnasticstrials.com. Sat Opera Pacific presents Opera Under the Stars—and it's free? Dude, take your betty to this, and you are getting so much action it's not even funny. Actually, if you picture all the people there having sex, it kind of is funny, in a grotesque, disturbing kind of way. The program features excerpts from Carmen, Il Trovatore, Porgy and Bess, and more. 8 p.m. Free. Pacific Amphitheatre, Orange County Fairgrounds, 88 Fair Dr., Costa Mesa, (714) 755-5799; www.pacificsymphony.org. Sun Now, if you want to picture people having sex, you do it at Yoga 4 Firefighters. Just try not to breathe creepy. Please. For all of us. For just $50—it's a benefit for the Orange County Burn Association and the UC Irvine Regional Burn Center—you can point your yoni at Newport Beach firefighters while doing Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. And yes, that is what the kids are calling it these days. 8, 9:30, 10:30 and 11 a.m. Yoga Works Newport Beach, 230 Newport Center Dr., Newport Beach, (949) 640-9642. Mon Looking for a light-hearted pick-me-up? Try Amnesty International's Monthly Meeting. There, you can chow on some pizza while discussing human trafficking, gay and lesbian issues, and the ongoing war in Afghanistan—as well as plans for a 2005 AIDS conference. There's nothing more fun than AIDS! 7 p.m. Huntington Beach Chapter, Sts. Simon N Jude Church, Room 7b, 20444 Magnolia St., Huntington Beach, (949) 742-5524. Tues Don't let this excerpt from the Revolver website fool you—”let the bell ring, call the workers home, let the children play, send up to the heavens the sounds of a true revival, not a dogmatic following of rock definition, but a new mapping of musical traditions, destroy the derivative, manipulate and break with the followers, learn from the past, but redesign the vital . . .”—Revolver is actually really fun! With musical performances by Vows and Desk Set, and guest DJ Rubik's Gate spinning indie and underground rock. Also? Video art! La Cave, 1695 Irvine Ave., Costa Mesa, (949) 646-7944. Wed Join Chris and pray for peace like a good hippie should at the Summer Solstice World Peace Meditation. Bring a blanket or something to sit on for the silent meditation and something—a lute? A zither? I'll be sitting in on shakey thing!—with which to play music afterward. Bonus: whoever levitates the Pentagonwins a bag of chronic. 6:45 p.m. Free as the wind! Alta Laguna Lookout Point, past Laguna Beach High School, Alta Laguna Blvd., Laguna Beach; Ch**************@ho*****.com. Thurs/July 1 Are you a grown-up with a job? By all means, call in with anthrax—remember your sunblock as nothing busts you faster than a festival burn—and head down to the Vans Warped Tour. There, you can feel like a lumpen old clod amid a mass of squirrelly youth while taking in Flogging Molly, which my brother's brother is in; New Found Glory; Coheed N Cambria; Taking Back Sunday; Anti-Flag; Bouncing Souls; Bad Religion; NOFX; Yellowcard; Thursday; IMA Robot; Story of the Year; and The Vandals(one of whom I used to date). 11 a.m. $18.99-$26.75. All ages. Cal State Fullerton, Orangethorpe N College St., Fullerton, (714) 278-3503 or (714) 278-4216.

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