!Ask a Mexican!

Dear Mexican, I am obsessed with Mexican women—however, I am married to agabacha. My wife wants to indulge my rampant fantasies by looking for a Mexicanmujer to have a threesome with us. But we can't seem to find anyone willing. We've had better luck finding white participants, but I am not interested in them. Are …

Grub Guide

The following places employ guys and gals who remember your name after a couple of visits, refill your water without prompting and deserve a bigger tip than the measly 5 percent you leave, you cheap bastard.   DINNER FOR TWO: ¢ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . …

Traumatized Penis

Personal trainer Dan Salas stands attentively next to his client, a 38-year-old guy, in a capacious room filled with your traditional workout metal—dumbbells, barbells, bars. They're the only two working out in this private Anaheim gym, and except for the fact that they're naked while performing forward and backward lunges with a 50-pound weight, there's …

Letters

Letters may be edited for clarity and length. E-mail to le*****@******ly.com, or send to Letters to the Editor, c/o OC Weekly, 1666 N. Main St., Ste. 500, Santa Ana, CA 92701. Or fax to (714) 550-5908. THE KIDS ARE . . . Editor's note: The following two letters are in response to Nick Schou's “Jose's …

Grub Guide

The lunar New Year came and passed last weekend, but Asian food rocks all year long. Here's some of the places we've obsessed over for the past couple of months. Also, congrats to Sandra Sutphen of Yorba Linda for correctly figuring out that I didn't include Laguna Niguel in the Jan. 19 edition of Grub …

Totally Tubular

Numbers is the band for that inevitable day when the federal government installs black rubber tubes that dangle from the ceiling in every kitchen, dispensing cooked meals every 12 hours. First, you will dutifully grease the inside of the thing with the stuff the FDA delivers to your house by pneumatic tubes and wait eagerly …

Jose's Choice

The Orange County Social Services Agency (SSA) has issued Jose Rosiles an ultimatum: lose your wife or lose your kids. Next Wednesday, the Santa Ana truck driver will appear in a courtroom at the Betty Lamoureaux Juvenile Justice Center for a “permanent disposition” hearing. That's when he'll likely find out whether all five of his kids …

New Reviews

WE RECOMMEND:   FAMILY At first it looks like a glossy, silly masala-style family comedy and then evolves, in a series of beautifully engineered startling transitions, into one of the Bollywood's most recent dark suspense thrillers. India's most durable and forceful movie icon, Amitabh Bachchan, has one of his strongest recent roles in years as …

Environment and Sports

Scott Giffin compiled these listings. Please fax, mail or e-mail press releases at least two weeks ahead of time. Events are free unless otherwise noted. AFTER SCHOOL PARKS N PLAYGROUNDS PROGRAM, BOLSA CHICA, 13660 UNIVERSITY ST., (714) 897-5911; LIBERTY PARK, 13900 MONROE, (714) 891-6678; SIGLER PARK, 7200 PLAZA, (714) 892-9029. Mon.-Fri.:After School Parks N Playgrounds …

Environment N Sports

Scott Giffin compiled these listings. Please fax, mail or e-mail press releases at least two weeks ahead of time. Events are free unless otherwise noted. ADVENTURE BOOT CAMP, EL RANCHO CHARTER SCHOOL, 181 S. DEL GIORGIO RD., ANAHEIM, (714) 783-7036; (877) 303-4641; WWW.ANAHEIMHILLSBOOTCAMP.COM. Mon.: GET FIT Boot Camp for Women. Women can jump start their …

Over-Produced

  A long time ago—1968 to be exact—in a galaxy not so very far away, there lived a little movie called The Producers, in which beleaguered impresario Max Bialystock (Zero Mostel) and impressionable accountant Leo Bloom (Gene Wilder) conspired to produce the biggest sure-fire flop in the history of Broadway, a Nazi-loving musical called Springtime for …