I’d like to start this week’s column by apologizing. Today is tuesday which means that I am a full 24 hours late to my own party but I have a good reason; I was stoned to the bone in New Orleans for a bachelor party.
After a bumpy landing courtesy of Spirit airlines, two ubers and a couple hundred dollars spent on frozen drinks my crew was looking as battered as Bourbon street after a friday night. I planned ahead for the inevitable hangover and packed a large supply of THC pills from Level Blends. Each 25 milligram capsule dissolves easily under your tongue and when the euphoric effects finally took hold of me I couldn’t have picked a better city to be in. As I wondered around the cobblestone streets littered with cigarette butts, cups, and broken dreams I remembered someone from the night before telling me about a beignet. Being from California means that I have come across exactly zero of those magical pastries but all that changed after a quick scan of my google map. I bought myself a medium sized bag of the sugary pillows and sat down next to the Mississippi river to get the full experience.
After devouring the entire bag I was stoned, full, and covered in powered sugar. My life in Costa Mesa was a faint memory as I thought about which parish I was going to call home. As the sun set I found a charming mid century loft in the french quarter that came with a newly renovated kitchen, balcony views, and three ghosts but I don’t think they took my application seriously so it looks like Orange County gets to keep its favorite stoner for awhile longer.
Next time you find yourself on the bayou grab a beignet and a place to sit… just make sure you don’t mention football, it’s a sore subject.
Jefferson Matthew VanBilliard is a leo that enjoys all things cannabis and is just trying his best. He let us know that although the desert will always be his home you can find him on Fourth St. in Santa Ana battle rapping teenagers or at the local high school where he coaches girls varsity volleyball without anyone’s permission.