The Orange County Sheriff's Department is reaching out to local massage parlors.
Betcha never thought you'd read that–well, not since international connoisseur of “phenomenal pussy” Mike Carona was run out of the sheriff's office.
The alert to spas and massage parlors comes after the alleged illegal actions of a skeevy ex-lawman not named Mike Carona.
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A retired Chicago-area cop is accused of telling the manager of the Golden Spa, 24342 Muirlands Blvd., Lake Forest, that he was a police officer “inspecting” the business Monday afternoon due to complaints–and he flashed a clipboard, holstered 9mm gun
and badge on his waistband for emphasis.
A few minutes into his check, the ex-cop/fake cop–later identified as 47-year-old Edward Justin La Porte, who now
resides in Mission Viejo–mentioned his back and
shoulder ached. He requested a massage. When a female masseuse walked into the massage room,
La Porte was apparently naked on the table.
Cue the thumping bass; this is just like that porno that . . . uh . . . someone told me about.
The plot isn't the only thing that thickens: After the rubbage of La Porte's back and
shoulder, he is said to have flipped over and demanded work continue on his exposed
front. The masseuse refused. The manager confirmed Golden Spa isn't that kind of spa. So, La Porte dressed, retrieving his clipboard and resuming his fake inspection.
He is alleged to have eventually demanded $200 for his services–without paying for the rubdown.
The sheriff's department figures La Porte has run this scam before.
Making it clear that law-enforcement officers cannot legally request money or services for inspections, deputies are asking any business or worker who believes
they have been stung to call (866) 847-6273.
Fortunately, the Golden Spa manager found the inspector's actions odd and called the city licensing department to inquire about complaints against the business. There are none, answered a city official, who then rushed over in time to confront La Porte, who fumed he did not have to explain himself to anyone.
He then ran to his car and drove off, but a masseuse got into her car, followed him and got his license-plate number, which was forwarded to the sheriff's department. Vice investigators served a search warrant at La Porte's Ladera Drive home Wednesday. Handcuffs, a metal clipboard, a loaded 9 mm handgun in a holster and two loaded ammunition clips were seized, officials say.
It turns out the badge was from the police force in Arlington Heights, which is about 25 miles outside Chicago and where La Porte was an officer from 1997 to 2001. An arrest form lists his occupation as “security.” He was booked on suspicion of burglary and impersonating a police officer. After spending a night in jail, he made bail.
Poor thing, just imagine what that cell bunk did to his aching back and shoulder.
OC Weekly Editor-in-Chief Matt Coker has been engaging, enraging and entertaining readers of newspapers, magazines and websites for decades. He spent the first 13 years of his career in journalism at daily newspapers before “graduating” to OC Weekly in 1995 as the alternative newsweekly’s first calendar editor.
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