Good eatin'!
Good eatin'!
Viideo by Jazley Faith

VIDEO: Watch Gustavo Eat a 2.8-Pound Tomahawk Steak in Half an Hour!

I'm too busy to personally bother with this newfangled fad of newspapers getting into videos...unless they involve food. Last fall, I stunned the world by taking on the Halal Guy's Hell in a Bowl challenge and not coming out with an ulcer. This time, The Butchery in Newport Coast invited me to try and take down their 3.5-pound tomahawk steak that, when cut of its bone and trimmings, amounted to 2.8 pounds of gorgeous American beef. Roll the tape!

The Butchery gave me no time limit, so I could've technically eaten it in a day and declare myself a winner—but we don't roll like that. I gave myself half an hour, and finished in 29 minutes. This video is only two minutes, so let me point out that I ate three-quarters of the steak like nothing in about 10 minutes. Then the tomahawk's nearly impossible marbling did me in—I'm Mexican, so I'm used to beef burnt of its fat, not a medium-well masterpiece. But, given the previous failures of Taylor trying to slurp down oysters at Ways and Means and Nate not being able to finish the SmoKing Ribs' crazy challenge, I needed to bring honor back to House Weekling.

And yes: Camus can do, even if Jimmy Carter is smarter.

Does anyone have a five-pound burrito for me to eat? BRING IT...


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