Us Simpsons freaks will forever recall the episode when Homer and Marge went to an all-you-can-eat seafood buffet at the Frying Dutchman, only to have Captain McAllister boot Homer and utter the immortal line "'Tis no man; 'tis a remorseless eating machine." Homer sued, of course, and reached a settlement with the Sea Captain, one of the few times Lionel Hutz didn't lose in court.
Keep that anecdote in mind for the following story: Denny's currently offers an all-you-can-eat pancake special for $5. Over the weekend, seven teenage boys went to a Foothill Ranch Denny's and ordered the promotion. And then they began to eat. And eat. And eat. And eat. For 24 hours straight. Nothing but pancakes.
This amazing story comes courtesy of Greg Hardesty, fine reporter for the Orange County Register and someone who did his own incredible feat this weekend: ran 24 hours straight as part of a fundraiser for the Wounded Warriors Project, which helps our wounded military personnel when they return home.
"While I was finishing my 24-hour run yesterday, my son and six friends were starting a 24-hour all-you-can-eat pancake stay at Denny's in Foothill Ranch," Hardesty wrote on his Facebook page. "They ate 301, averaging more than 14,000 calories per person --- all for $5 each. They are establishing a new category for the Guinness Book of World Records. I think my family has a weird gene."
301 pancakes, seven boys...43 pancakes per teen?! Over a year, maybe; over 24 hours, INSANITY. Further comments by Hardesty revealed one boy nearly fell asleep on the toilet, and that Denny's actually ran out of pancake batter and had to go out and buy more. He's allowed us to interview his son, which we will once the school day is over.
This isn't the first time Hardesty's family has made the weird news. In 2009, he wrote a hilarious article about how his then-13-year-old daughter sent over 14,000 text messages in one month, a story that went viral. Hardesty is a great reporter and a good man, and we congratulate him on his son's mighty accomplishment. Oh, and donate to the Wounded Warriors Project, por favor.
And now, this:
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