It's rare that we go outside the continental United States for this column, even though Taco Bell does exist worldwide. But maybe all Bells should be considered extensions of the American empire, as even in a remote paradise like Guam (which, of course, is an American territory), people in Taco Bells go guano loco.
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From a place you'll probably never give another thought to after finishing this column: Dededo:
A man who attacked a Taco Bell employee with a machete was arrested Saturday.
At
about 12:40 a.m., Guam Police Department officers responded to a
disturbance in progress at the parking lot of Taco Bell in Dededo where a
man — later identified as Johnson Mathias — allegedly was attacking
another man, according to a GPD press release.
The victim was outside discarding the trash, when the suspect, for
unknown reasons, allegedly attacked him with a machete, the release
stated. The suspect allegedly struck the victim on the head twice. The
victim sustained severe injuries to the top of the head and the right
temple area, which needed immediate medical attention.
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