¡Ask a Comida Critic! How Does Gustavo Not Get Super-Fat as a Food Critic?

¡Ask a Comida Critic! How Does Gustavo Not Get Super-Fat as a Food Critic?

This one is weird, but why not?

Are you a big guy? Do you actually eat EVERYTHING you order? Or do you just get a bunch of orders and then bring everything back to work to share with the co-workers?

Let's work backwards on this question. I usually dine alone for my food reviews, but will bring people along from time to time. I dine alone to play the part of a lonely loser--oh, wait...


In reality, I dine alone as to not draw suspicion from restaurant owners. Too often when I bring along pals, all they want to talk about is food. Once they eat said food, they exaggerate how god it is by proclaiming, "WOW, this will make a great review" or even introducing me to the waiters as the food editor for this paper. These incidents have happened more than once--and thus, I dine alone.

I usually don't bring food back to other Weeklings, only because, yes, Lydia: I do eat everything I describe in columns. I usually wipe plates clean, but reserve the right to save leftovers for another day. However, I do get restaurants and food makers send their products to the Weekly world headquarters in hope of me reviewing them--I rarely do, but do spread the love by giving samples to the editorial department first, then our production team, then the ad folks and receptionist, and I get the rest if there is anything left. Share the wealth, I say!

Finally, I'm not a big guy, although my weight has fluctuated in my career as a food critic. I was around 155 pounds when I started this job; I've gone as high as 175 but usually hover around 165 pounds--all this with never working out. I have a naturally high metabolism, but also attribute my mini-panza (as opposed to a massive one) to the stresses of being an investigative reporter fighting pedophile apologists, skinheads, and Know Nothings daily. Don't believe me? Schou and Moxley are as thin as rails. Want to lose weight? Go after Carona for a couple of years--but it's not a diet we'd recommend, alas...

Got a spicy question for the Comida Critic? Leave it in the comments!


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