Why Are Angels Fans Such Pussies? And, In Defense of Dodgers Fans

Faithful reader Cesar's attacks on an Angels fan got me thinking: why are Halos fans generally such pussies?

I know of many exceptions, of course (Weekly managing editor Rich Kane being one of them), but the general stereotype of Angels followers being plastic, effete, polite pussies is just too true. I've been attending games at Anaheim/Edison/Angels Stadium since forever, and I'm always shocked, shocked! that the Angels nation pride themselves on fostering a family atmosphere, that they don't buy up enough tickets to drown out opposing fans. Instead, the Angels get to suffer the insult of having to hear, "LET'S GO, RED SOX!" shouted by drunk micks, as was the case on Wednesday (I heard it on the radio broadcast, ever so faintly). If those Red Sox fans tried such shenanigans against, say, the Chicago White Sox or New York Yankees, the hometown crowd would've taken care of those visiting fools quick. But what happens at Angels Stadium? Gnashing of teeth.

Angels fans: ustedes are PUSSIES!

Anyone who follows Boston sports are the worst sports fans in the world--racist, pushy, drunk micks descended from even-more-racist micks. Kicking the ass of a Boston sports fan is not only defending your team's honor, it's an advancement for civil rights. There will be no brawls in the stands tonight between Angels and Red Sox fans, and that's a damn shame.

And the worst thing I hear coming from Angels fans? "Well, at least we're not like the Dodgers fans." Ah, the latest code for "Mexican" in Southern California: the Dodgers fan, especially those in the cheap seats. Since my kid brother is a die-hard fan of the Blue, I take him a couple of times a year to Dodgers Stadium. Since I'm a cheapskate, we always sit in the outfield. Those Dodgers nuts are the epitome of what a true sports fan is about--loud, obnoxious, fiercely protective of their squad, and just plain fun. Place them in Philly, New York, or Boston, such fans are deemed "colorful"; place them in Dodgers Stadium, and just watch all the euphemisms for "Mexican" that pop out. Give me Dodgers fans over Angels fans any day.

And, for the record: I'm rooting for both the Dodgers and the Angels squads to win. For the fuller record: I'm a Chicago Cubs fan. Go ahead and laugh--I've been doing the same to myself for 29 pinche years. FUCK YOU, STEVE BARTMAN, TO HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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