Update #1, July 3, 8:41 a.m.: Right-wing websites are busy smearing protesters who challenged Ann Coulter's book signing this week at Costa Mesa's Barnes & Noble. The she-devil herself spoke to Breitbart saying, "As long as they were destroying books and screaming in a book store, they weren't molesting any 4-year-olds." Oh, buuuurn!
But the maligning doesn't stop there. A pair of blog posts put out preposterous claims that Coulter originally planned a talk but chose a signing out of security fears. Protesters were also said to have tried to assault the author before being turned away. Another lie holds that the crowd spit at Coulter's fans when they exited the bookstore.
None of it is true.
Coulter told me that there was never any lecture planned--just the signing. And with all this supposed chaos, there would have been a couple arrests, no? But private security and Costa Mesa police didn't detain a single person. They just made sure that a clear path remained at the entrance and exit to the bookstore. Activists cleaned up every last scrap of Coulter's torn apart book from the floor. The clincher? A cop took a group photo of the demonstrators before they parted their separate ways.
Sure sounds like an unruly mob to me! But then again, when has the Coulter cabal ever really been about facts!
Original Post: July 2, 7:03 a.m.: Conservative Ann Coulter whines in ¡Adios, America! that 'Muricans aren't allowed to have an honest debate about immigration in this country. The peddling pendeja sure had her chance to spice things up when she appeared yesterday afternoon at Metro Pointe Barnes & Noble in Costa Mesa. But instead of giving a talk supporting her newest book, Coulter opted for a tightly controlled signing instead. BORING!
Posters of Coulter hung all around the two-story bookstore. The Olive Oil of offensiveness haunted the place like a 'Coultergeist!' The guidelines for the rule-crazy event disallowed for any candid photography of the author, and people clamoring for an autograph had to buy her book (30% off!) from the Barnes & Noble--also an obvious way to keep others out.
About 75 or so people turned out for their Know Nothing heroine, sad numbers for a city so frothing with anti-immigrant hysteria that they approved a plan to deputize cops as ICE agents years back. "I kinda wish she'd be giving a talk," a young Republican said to a friend in line.
With a protest promised by activists upset with Coulter's "illegals are scarier than ISIS" talk, mostly black security guards protected the author's table in the sectioned-off music area of the store. Suddenly, Latino youth arose from the adjacent cafe shouting "2,4,6,8, we don't need your racist hate!" They unfurled a giant "¡Adios, Ann Coulter!" banner continuing on until security escorted their protest outside.
The line finally started moving a few minutes after 6 p.m. As I neared Coulter, Congressman Dana Rohrabacher (R-Didn't Serve) strutted past the plebeians with an entourage of douchebags. "Why do you refuse to participate in the Weekly's 20th anniversary issue?" I asked Rohrabacher after he took a picture with Coulter. Our big birthday story is coming next month and Dana's doubling down on not granting any interviews. "The Weekly's spread so many lies. There's a story they ran saying my wife's room had a mysterious stain like out of a sex club. Who writes that?"
"Oh, that Moxley," I deadpanned, referring to his "Dana Rohrabacher Is Dirty" piece. "If the Weekly forgives, I'll forget," he said before leaving.
With one vulgar Republican down for the night, there was only one left to go. Finally, my turn came to approach Coulter. She seemed bubbly at first. "Why didn't you do a talk?" I asked. "There's no space and I thought it'd be better to have more people line up to get their book signed," she replied while signing my copy.
"So, how many Mexicans do you get at your signings?" I asked next. "There's some that come through," Coulter said. "About 20 percent is what the polls say!" she added, noting the number of GOP Hispanic. "But I'm like the only Mexican here today," I said. "That's not 20 percent!" It finally dawned on Coulter that she dealt with a foe, not a fan. "This isn't a question and answer session," she scolded.
Barnes & Noble staff scooted the next person in front of me, saying I needed to leave, allowing others who had their book signed to linger. For shame! I didn't get to ask her if she's ever dated a Mexican immigrant before while swaying my hips in Ravishing Rick Rude style! Oh well. "I thought you wanted a debate on immigration, Ann," I said while being led out.
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I walked out of the bookstore with ¡Adios, America! still in hand. Roughly 30 protesters started chanting me down saying "Shame on you! Shame on you!" I gave them the book to use in the protest instead. "Do whatever you want with it!" I told them. They proceeded to rip pages from it, littering the floor in front of the bookstore with Coulter confetti.
Moments later, another fellow walked out from the signing, only more defiantly proud of having Coulter sign his book. "Walk of shame! Walk of shame!" the crowd shouted as he left. Too funny!
Follow Gabriel San Román on Twitter @gsanroman2