See the update at the end of this post on the defense and prosecution arguing over whether battery occurred.
ORIGINAL POST, SEPT. 25, 2 P.M.: Michael Kevin Lallana, a Fullerton dad and OC Weekly's third scariest person of 2010, is reportedly appealing his conviction last year of jizzing into an unsuspecting female co-worker's water bottle (at least twice). This Thursday, a panel of three judges at Orange County Superior Court will hear the appeal of Lallana's misdemeanor case, which ended with the USC grad and mortgage company employee being sentenced to six months in jail, ordered to serve three years probation and labeled a sex offender for life.
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See also:
Michael Kevin Lallana Guilty of Twice Slipping Semen Into Co-Worker's Water Bottle
Where the Rubber Hits the Trojan
That sentence has not been imposed pending the appeal, City News Service reports.
Lallana, who lived with his wife and daughter, entered the Orange office of a female he used to supervise before their mortgage company relocated from Newport Beach and–when no one was looking–ejaculated into the water bottle on her desk, agreed jurors who last year convicted Lallana of doing the dirty deed twice.
The first time, the woman got sick after drinking from the bottle and tossed it. She saved the bottle the second time, DNA testing was done and those results doomed Lallana in trial court.
UPDATE, SEPT. 27, 4:44 P.M.: Lallana did not attend today's brief court hearing, but his lawyer certainly did.
E. Thomas Dunn Jr. told appeals judges his client should not have been convicted of battery because no such offense occurred. Yes, he agrees with the prosecution that Lallana secretly splooged into a lady co-worker's water bottle and left the container where the co-worker had left it–twice, even. But Dunn claimed battery is a crime that involves action by force, such as being struck, something a bottle left alone on a desk cannot accomplish.
Deputy District Attorney Anna Chinowth essentially countered that whether Lallana jizzed in a bottle or directly into the woman's mouth, the outcome was the same: Jane Doe drank his man juice against her wishes.
The judges have up to 90 days to consider which side is right.
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OC Weekly Editor-in-Chief Matt Coker has been engaging, enraging and entertaining readers of newspapers, magazines and websites for decades. He spent the first 13 years of his career in journalism at daily newspapers before “graduating” to OC Weekly in 1995 as the alternative newsweekly’s first calendar editor.