UPDATE: More hater-ific biographical details about Jesse James' alleged mistress.
The bitch would be the West Coast Chopper owner's pet pitbull pup, Cinnabun.
Who did you think I was referring to?
"CB" famously went missing on Jan. 25, then was returned to the Long Beach shop on Feb. 17, then went missing again Monday. Jesse James' West Coast Choppers blogged Thursday that all is well that ends well, at least on the pet front.
Cinnabun "wandered into a quiet storage room, throwing the shop into a panic," says the site. "Thankfully, she's back in the office and in high spirits."
One gossip outlet finds that explanation suspect. TMZ.com had reportedly been informed by the security company tracking CB via a microchip implanted in the pup that the dog went missing the same day James' wife Sandra Bullock moved out of their Sunset Beach home.
Three days in the storage room for the pooch?
Perhaps CB was just trying to avoid the media glare brought on by her master's widely reported infidelity.
For those who have been fortunate enough to miss it, the most recent Academy Award winner for best actress split town a few days after media reports surfaced that her husband was banging tattoo-foreheaded, apparently Amish-raised, 24-year-old Michelle "Bombshell" McGee, who calls herself "the hottest busty tattoo and fetish model" around.
Bullock also pulled out of the London premiere of The Blind Side, the movie that earned her the Oscar, for "personal reasons."
Barely 24 hours after the news broke that James had been unfaithful to his 45-year-old wife while she was off shooting her award-winning performance in The Blind Side, James issued an apology via People magazine:
"There is only one person to blame for this whole situation, and that is me. It's because of my poor judgment that I deserve everything bad that is coming my way. This has caused my wife and kids pain and embarrassment beyond comprehension and I am extremely saddened to have brought this on them.... I hope one day they can find it in their hearts to forgive me."
Ironically, The Blind Side was about a white woman who takes in a black teen-ager who would go on to become an NFL lineman.
Bullock also executive produced and gave arguably the second best dramatic performance of her screen career in Crash, which raised thorny race issues in Los Angeles.
Given the completely opposite sensibilities McGee displays in the photo above and in her biographical information below, she would certainly represent a whole new level of "strange" for James, provided the mistress stories are true.
Based on various online reports, this is what is known about "Bombshell":
- The San Diego native is the mother of two grade-school kids.
- She was born to a conservative, Amish family that she left behind at age 16, They are no longer on speaking terms.
- Her online bio states she's been pre-med for two years and has an undergrad degree in Biology.
- She likes to hook up with doctors who get "really wild in the sack" and would ideally like a [sic] "sugardady." [Pre-med grads needn't know how to spell.]
- She got her first tattoo at 15 years old and said it's been a "process" ever since.
- That "process" includes "WP" (for white power" inked all over her shapely body.
- She models for a clothing line called Angry White Boy.
- She thought James and Bullock's marriage was in trouble, and they were possibly separated.
- "I would never have hooked up with him if I thought he was a married man," she told In Touch Magazine, although her bio mentions "affair" as being something she's into—along with "leather and chains."
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- She is featured on SoCalGlamourGirls.com, where fans can view her pictures or speak to her live on a webcam.
Her own site crashed Thursday, prompting the following message:
My website has received an INSANE amount of traffic today," she writes on her homepage. "So much that I have to switch to a dedicated server. I should have the blog back up and running shortly. Please check back soon. xoxoxo - Michelle
OhNoTheyDidn't reports that after the site came back up, photos like the Nazi shot posted here had disappeared. They have also been quietly removed from her MySpace page.