Elizabeth Taylor was the master at keeping herself relevant through tabloid headlines, but at least she had true talent. It seems the latest generation living off publicity is wading in a very shallow talent pool: Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, any Kardashian.
The muck at the bottom of that talent pool is where one finds Octomom Nadya Suleman. La Habra's single mother of 14 trickles out positive and negative tidbits about herself to keep the headline and paid stunts coming. The latest batch: she was raised Muslim, she's a workaholic and men give her cooties.
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To the Huffington Post's Naughty But Nice Rob, Suleman says of paid gigs brought to her by her, ahem, manager:
“I was humiliated doing the first one. I was raised Muslim and I'm very anxious about it. I was not proud of it.”
(Time was, Natalie Denise Doud-Suleman, formerly Mrs. Nadya Gutierrez, who was born July 11, 1975, in Fullerton, had a Latina Lithuanian mom and an Assyrian Iraqi American father, Angela Victoria and Edward Doud Suleman. The Assyrian people are Christian. Octomom now attends a Christian church and has some of her children enrolled in a Christian preschool.)
She also tells AOL Rob:
“I paid out-of-pocket from the very beginning . . . .that was all lies. The [babies] were on medical for two months
which I paid back out-of-pocket as a single mom and then I paid
insurance for all of us.”
(A single mom living off food stamps paid out-of-pocket for Kaiser maternity bills that totaled $2 million. Amazing! Barack should hire her to balance the budget.)
“I thought I was going to lose
my house, [and be unable to] pay kids' schools. And then I secured my
manager and she told me I had to do a bikini shoot.”
(Had to?)
“I am a workaholic. People don't know that. But I will do anything,
except be naked. But [I'll do] anything that I can do to generate money
in a respectable way so I can take care of my kids and pay for school
for them. I want them into a private Christian school so I am trying to
save up for that.”
(Among those respectable things are stripping down near naked for photos, entering celebrity boxing matches, appearing on celebrity dating shows, giving paid interviews and doing that weird fetish video.)
Indeed, her latest doozies are no doubt being used to promote her upcoming appearance on the new HDNet
celebrity dating show, Celebridate with Roger Lodge. As the promotional video posted by US Magazine shows, Suleman says she's been celibate for 12 years, that she's never been on a date in her life, that she only had one boyfriend and one sperm donor (but what about Mr. Gutierrez?) and that she'll go through the with Celebridate as long as the winner does not touch her.
“As long as he doesn't touch me, we're good! No touching! A hand, maybe. I'm a germaphobe,” she says before breaking into that loony bin cackle of hers.
As the promoting goes on (and on and on), one wonders who is watching supposedly nanny-less Wonder Woman's 14 kids.
OC Weekly Editor-in-Chief Matt Coker has been engaging, enraging and entertaining readers of newspapers, magazines and websites for decades. He spent the first 13 years of his career in journalism at daily newspapers before “graduating” to OC Weekly in 1995 as the alternative newsweekly’s first calendar editor.