It's been a busy couple weeks when it comes to high-profile apologies from Orange Countians. Newport Coast's Kobe Bryant of the Los Angeles Lakers first half-heartedly and then full-heartedly apologized for saying "fucking faggot." Next came Fullerton's Marilyn Davenport of the Orange County Republican Party Central Committee first half-heartedly and then full-heartedly apologizing for forwarding an email with a photo of President Barack Obama appearing to be the child of chimps.
Despite the emotional mea culpas, both missed something huge when it came to making things right.
Near as I can tell from what I've seen while watching Bryant and read from my colleague R. Scott Moxley's coverage of Davenport, neither one specifically apologized to the targets of their barbs: NBA referee Bennie Adams and Obama respectively.
Read any of Bryant's words on the matter or watch video coverage, and--based on what I have seen anyway--there is not even mention of Adams. Bryant is instead apologizing to the gay community and the community at large, which is fine. Offend one and you offend all.
But shouldn't the person you lashed out at be the first person you apologize to? It's like the reverse good form after winning an Oscar of first thanking the Academy.
On radio's The Dan Patrick Show on Friday, the host asked Bryant if he had spoken with Adams since this all blew up. Black Mamba replied in the negative, saying he wanted to but was unsure whether it was appropriate for players to speak to NBA referees off the court. He then said he would say something to Adams next time they see one another.
Um, how about right now, on the air, live, Kob? I'll help you: "Dan, man, before we get into this, I just want to say how deeply sorry I am to Bennie Adams . . . "
I don't agree with, but sort of understand, why Davenport would not do the same with Obama. After all, what he represents is so opposite of what she truly believes. He's the dude in the big top hat and curly mustache to her fair maiden being tied to the railroad tracks. Apologizing to someone like that, if you have wronged them, can wreak havoc on your insides.
It's even understandable (though I also disagree with) not apologizing to Michelle Obama, for doing something so mean and racist to her man. After all, the first lady campaigns for the guy in the black hat and curly 'stache.
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!
But as a "Christian lady," as Davenport likes to describe herself, why not apologize in general to the Obama family? After all, the photo takes aim at the entire brood, half siblings included, when you think about it. Or, apologize directly to Obama's daughters, since they have no chimps in this political fight and, near as I can tell, no one is questioning where they were born (save for Orly, of course).
Short of that, or perhaps even with a Davenport apology to the Obamas, Orange County Republican Party chairman Scott Baugh, who has really handled this magnificently, should offer one up on behalf of his organization.
It's really a win-win because it would set a precedent for dumbfucks on the other side committing flagrant fouls. Before you know it, the two sides might find common ground amid the apologies on which to push this country forward.
A boy can dream.