The March issue of Men's Health magazine will name Fresno the "drunkest" city in America. The only local municipality to crack the list of 100 is Anaheim at No. 57. That can mean but one thing:
Bottoms up, Orange County!
It's not like we can knock Fresno, which--if you've visited it--you'd understand why it finished as the drunkest.
But 57? Nearby Riverside was No. 4 in the country! Even those latte-swigging freaks in LA finished ahead of us, at No. 48.
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The way it worked, according to the USA Today, was cities were given letter grades based on "data such as death rates from alcoholic liver disease, booze-fueled car crashes, frequency of binge-drinking in the past month, number of DUI arrests and severity of DUI penalties."
Fine. But the numbers are still questionable. Those boozehounds in Chicago finished No. 85, the Pinot swillers in San Francisco were No. 86 and--get this--Boston was the soberest city in America, at No. 100 (or No. 1 if you count the opposite way).
The land of Cheers, Kennedys and Red Sauced fans? How could Beantown possibly pull that one off? Who knew Mitt Romney would leave such a lasting legacy?