First it was three very dangerous jail inmates and now it's an AR-15 rifle ... Does anyone else fear that the Orange County Sheriff's Department will complete the trifecta by losing a former military combat vehicle?
"Sorry about that, Sheriff Sandy, took my eye off the armored Hummer while waiting in the pee line at Dolly's Donuts."
This fantasy is brought to you by reality, which holds that five days after alleged murderer Jonathan Tieu and accused attempted murderers Bac Tien Duong and Hossein Nayeri made their "daring" escape from the OCSD-guarded Men's Central Jail in Santa Ana, a deputy lost an AR-15 rifle in South County.
"D'OH!" (not in the voice of Homer but Chief Wiggum).
The deputy realized the assault rifle beloved by snipers, terrorists and illegal arms salesmen went missing about 3:15 a.m. Wednesday, prompting the sheriff's brass to pencil in "find it" at the top of the day's to-do list for reserves, full-timers and bloodhounds.
According to sheriff's Lt. Jeff Hallock, the unidentified deputy recalls placing the rifle on the trunk of his patrol car as he was preparing for work around 7 p.m. Tuesday, getting distracted and then driving off. He went on to patrol Aliso Viejo and Laguna Hills, which became the focal points of the desperate search.
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Oh, if you see it, call 714.647.7000 or the Orange County Crime Stoppers anonymous tip line at 855.847.6227 (855.TIP.OCCS).
While I've got you, check out my movie idea: A federal undercover asset in jail to cover up his presence at a horrific attempted murder scene in the desert must be sprung to complete a mission. But not by conventional means so as not to raise suspicions. (Have you heard? Lotta snitches inside.) With all the resources the shadow government can muster, an "escape" is staged that will publicly embarrass the local sheriff's department but allow the Iranian-born assassin to easily slip out of the country ... but not before he stops at Krazy Eddie's Donuts in Laguna Hills to pick up the AR-15 rifle a deputy is claimed to have "lost."
I see Taylor Lautner as the assassin and Haley Joel Osment as the deputy duped into believing he misplaced his AR-15.
Check please, Hollywood!