My Little League career is legendary in the La Palma Little League in Anaheim for its absolutely abysmal arc. One year, I had no hits--none. Another year, I had three, for a batting average I think we determined was .050. But no player was more feared than me, if only because my heckling of the opposing side was so ruthless that I was ejected from games at least three times.
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Nevertheless, some out there in the world think I'm worthy of appearing in tonight's Major League Baseball All-Star Game Home Run Derby--and that I have a better chance of winning than rookie phenom Bryce Harper.
At least that's what happens when you open up a poll to get gamed by sports fans, as is what happened to ESPN's Facebook poll asking readers who they thought would win the contest. The contest is no longer online, but Deadspin was able to capture a graphic of the poll at one point, which finds my columna considered as a candidate ahead of Bill Cosby, Putos Todos, and FUCK THE NBA, but behind Your Mom, ME, and Chuck Norris.
Gracias, fans! Now, time to hit the cages at Home Run Park...