10 Ways Boxing Promoter Roy Englebrecht Will Improve Newport Beach City Council Meetings

10 Ways Boxing Promoter Roy Englebrecht Will Improve Newport Beach City Council Meetings
CSULB

Roy Englebrecht, the successful promoter of professional fights in Orange County for years, has reportedly thrown his mouthpiece in the ring for the November 2014 Newport Beach City Council race.

This is great news when you consider the 10 ways boring council meetings will improve with the "Fight Club" CEO on the dais.

(For more on Englebrecht's council bid, see this Daily Pilot story.)

(For more on Englebrecht's fight career, see this OC Weekly story from a couple years back.)

ROUND ONE

Orange County Fight Club
Orange County Fight Club
Photo by Paul Roberts/OC Weekly

Each council meeting to get a cute nickname like "The Brouhaha by the Back Bay," "The Ultimate Spar in Corona del Mar" and "The Thrilla in Newport Villa."

ROUND TWO

10 Ways Boxing Promoter Roy Englebrecht Will Improve Newport Beach City Council Meetings

Weigh-ins of council members to precede the reading of minutes.

ROUND THREE

10 Ways Boxing Promoter Roy Englebrecht Will Improve Newport Beach City Council Meetings
Celebrity Talent Promotions

When things get testy in the council chambers, Michael Buffer to appear out of nowhere to bellow, "Let's get ready to GRUMBLLLLLLLLLE!!!"

ROUND FOUR

10 Ways Boxing Promoter Roy Englebrecht Will Improve Newport Beach City Council Meetings

Councilman Tony Petros will finally have an excuse for his annoying "Rope-a-Dope" debate strategy.
 

ROUND FIVE

10 Ways Boxing Promoter Roy Englebrecht Will Improve Newport Beach City Council Meetings

If cornered, Councilman Ed Selich liable to bite off Mayor Keith Curry's ear.

ROUND SIX

10 Ways Boxing Promoter Roy Englebrecht Will Improve Newport Beach City Council Meetings

Each council member to be assigned a cut man for bruising arguments. "CUT ME, MICK!"

ROUND SEVEN

10 Ways Boxing Promoter Roy Englebrecht Will Improve Newport Beach City Council Meetings
NBPD.org

Black and white referee stripes look great on Police Chief Jay Johnson.

ROUND EIGHT

10 Ways Boxing Promoter Roy Englebrecht Will Improve Newport Beach City Council Meetings

Time-sucking gadflies will have to prove they can take a body blow before taking over the whole goddamn meeting.

ROUND NINE

10 Ways Boxing Promoter Roy Englebrecht Will Improve Newport Beach City Council Meetings

Mob bosses will have one more thing in common with the council members they own.

And the final round to decide the best thing about Roy Englebrecht joining the Newport Beach City Council:

ROUND TEN

Ring card girls!

Email: mcoker@ocweekly.com. Twitter: @MatthewTCoker. Follow OC Weekly on Twitter @ocweekly or on Facebook!


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