Sir Charles Barkley is coming to Orange County as part of the three-day Enlightened Entrepreneur Summit of motivational speakers at the Crowne Plaza Anaheim Thursday through Saturday.
As long as the local gig doesn't interfere with his divine work ripping apart NBA refs, players and games, we're fine with it, because Barkley routinely entertains better than the game he's commenting on.
Ten favorite quotes from the Round Mound of Rebound follow . . .
"When I was recruited at Auburn [University], they took me to a strip joint. When I saw those titties on Buffy, I knew that Auburn met my academic requirements."
"All I know is, as long as I led the Southeastern Conference in scoring, my grades would be fine."
"I always laugh when people ask me about rebounding techniques. I've got a technique. It's called just go get the damn ball."
"I heard Tonya Harding is calling herself the Charles Barkley of figure skating. I was going to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized I have no character."
"Hell, there ain't but 15 black millionaires in the whole country and half of 'em are right here in this room," Barkley said at an NBA All-Star game.
"I can be bought. If they paid me enough, I'd work for the Klan."
"We better not be doing the Bulls this year. Man, they suck! Bunch of high school kids with $70 million contracts. Damn! I hate my mother for having me too soon."
"I remember sitting down with the Rockets and saying, 'Yeah. I'm going to retire.' They said, 'Well, we'll give you $9 million.' And I said, 'You got a pen on you?'"
"If you go out with a girl and they say she has a great personality, she's ugly. If they tell you a guy works hard, he can't play a lick. Same thing."
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After the judge at a trial for throwing a Chicago bar patron out of a first-floor window asked if Barkley had any regrets, he answered, "Yeah, I regret we weren't on a higher floor."
I feel motivated already.
(For more on the summit, visit http://enlightenedentrepreneursummit.com.)