So, what are the chances of me fuckin you?
So, what are the chances of me fuckin you?
Paul Mobley

Steve-O Struggles With Restraint of Pen and Tongue.

[Editor's Note: Quick Questions is our semi-regular feature where we ask comedians a ton of random questions without giving them time to think of anything funny to say. Surprisingly, they still do.]

Steve-O participated in some major debauchery on MTV's Jackass and Wildboyz back in the day and while he continues to live on all types of edges, something that he's getting even more known for these days is his comedy. With an upcoming show at the Ice House in Pasadena on June 12th, we wanted to get to know a few more details from the man who made a name for himself by sledding down a mountain in a porta potty, have a BB gun fired through his nipple, and tattooing insanity all over his body. Of course the best way for us to do that was to hit him with a game of "Quick Questions" and trust us, it was probably the least pain he's been put through in a while.

First time on stage: My first time performing in front of hundreds of people was in 1996 when I was introduced as "Steve-O the Alcoholic Gymnast" for a big radio station talent show event in South Florida.

Daisy Dukes or Jorts? Never heard of Jorts but I bet I'd vote for Daisy Dukes even if I had.

If you had a reality show, what would you call it? "Steve-O's Endless Summer."

What is the craziest thing you've ever done while drunk? I'll go with that intimate encounter I had with a transvestite. Or perhaps admitting it afterwards was crazier...

Where the fuck is Waldo? Not sure if that question makes me feel young or old but, I have no idea what you're talking about.

How do you feel about "selfies?" The most annoying thing is people harassing whoever I'm with to take a photo of them with me. I signed up for being bothered for photos every day but, my innocent friends did not. So learn how to take your stupid photos yourself. Nothing annoying about selfies, at all!

What's your biggest pet peeve? Asked and answered (see previous rant about selfies).

How do you like to handle a heckler? I only know one way. I maliciously shame them, then inevitably feel bad about it, and then I apologize. (Even though I'm rarely actually sorry.)

Give me your favorite pick-up line- "So, what are the chances of me fuckin you?"

How about the craziest pick-up line said to you? I don't find any of them crazy anymore. In fact, it's historically been so easy to get laid that I've had to resort to intense therapy and an extended period of celibacy in order to restore any hope I have of being in a healthy relationship with one woman. Not joking, at all.

What's your all-time favorite movie? Road Trip. That movie is a masterpiece.

The best advice you've ever received was- Words can never be taken back, practice restraint of pen and tongue.

What is the best concert and worst concert you have ever been to? The best concert, hands down, was Tool. And I'm going to practice restraint of pen and tongue before falling for the second part of that question.

Do you have any superstitions? Intellectually, I think superstition is stupid and I hate it. But, it always bothers me to find shoes on a table.

If you could have dinner with anyone, who'd it be with and where would you go? Tupac. I'd go wherever he's chillin'.

If they made a movie about your life, who would you want to play you? Zac Efron. He's gorgeous!

Name an awful album that you love so much- The bassist from Korn made a rap album and it's the most hilarious shit I've ever heard. God, I love it. Seriously, this asshole is just too much, you've got to hear it. It makes my old rap music seem like Jay-Z! Ha! (There goes my restraint of pen and tongue...)

Best Halloween costume you've ever worn- A urinal.

What's the biggest regret you have in life? Years of completely avoidable terrible breath due to not flossing my teeth regularly. For crying out loud, floss your fucking teeth!

If you were on death row, what would you pick as your last meal? Nachos and a brownie bowl from Real Food Daily in Los Angeles.

Karaoke. OK for only drunk people or OK for everyone? OK for anybody but me.

Honestly, what did you do after prom night? I ditched my girlfriend because I refused to be searched in order to be allowed on a stupid boat cruise party. I had lots of drugs on me and I wasn't about to part with any of them. True story, my girlfriend didn't do drugs and I didn't go on that boat.

What else can we look forward to from you this year? New criminal charges for something I don't feel the slightest bit sorry for doing.

Steve-O performs at The Ice house on June 12th, 24 N Mentor Ave Pasadena, CA 91106, (626) 577-1894. For tickets go to and for more info, check out his website and follow him on Instagram, and on Twitter: @SteveO.

See also: Steve-O Found a Way to Work Manginas Into His Stand-Up Comedy 10 Douchiest Guitarists of All Time 10 Douchiest Drummers of All Time

Follow us on Twitter @OCWeeklyMusic and like us on Facebook at Heard Mentality and follow the author on Twitter @AliNotAlli.


All-access pass to the top stories, events and offers around town.

  • Top Stories


All-access pass to top stories, events and offers around town.

Sign Up >

No Thanks!

Remind Me Later >