Five Types of Stoners We’ll See at the High Road Tour
One thing for certain, two things for sure, Snoop and Wiz are gonna smoke out the whole scenery when they come to Irvine Meadows Amphitheatre on Thursday. If you’re not planning on, um, enhancing your concert experience at the venue, you should either sell your ticket now or wear a gasmask cause the talent on-stage are far from the only things being lit up throughout the night. From the backstage trailers to the top of lawn where coyotes might lurk to catch a whiff, a lamina of smoke is likely to linger until the next morning when it’ll be confused with the marine layer thanks to the blazed patrons. We’ve identified the types who’ll be responsible for the torrential fog and their idiosyncrasies that’ll make the people-watching as fun as the pipe-hitting.
White Gnarly Stoner
White people smoke blunts now if you hadn’t heard! And just like the way they ride bikes, drive cars and drink beer, they smoke blunts in an extreme fashion. Look out for the OC’s gnarliest white stoners at the High Road Tour smoking OC’s Best in big ass, softball bat backwoods and joints looking like Bam Bam from the Flintstones the way they wield the spliffs and wild out. Most of the time these dudes don’t even share their goods; they take these blunts to the head without second thoughts.
Snoop Dogg’s been around smoking herbals for a long time. Along with him are some fans and peers who’ve been smoking accordingly. Look for the 40+-ers at Irvine Meadows with bags under their eyes from working 10 hour days and taking care of kids all day and from smoking joints during the show. These are also the types you’re gonna see in the venue passing the weed to their offspring keeping tradition strong.
This “smoker” would’ve been better off not smoking at all. Deciding to step out of their comfort zone and smoke a bit cause summer’s almost over and they’re at a concert, the sometime-y smoker is going to fuck up the show for their well-trained smoker friends. Likely too high to function before Snoop and Wiz even take the stage, they’ll spend the majority of the show slumped on a friend’s shoulder, begging for water and food or simply just worrying everyone around them with that grave, lights-are-on-but-no-one’s-home glare.
Thank the Danky Deities for these saints! At every show, you’ll be amongst the most fortunate to be in their vicinity. They’ll usually be found with a ziploc bag full of wrapped weed and a slightly impish grin on their faces when they extend their arms toward you. It’s unclear whether they’re passing doobs cause they’re too high and too supplied but browse the venue enough and you’ll find these generous souls making sure everyone feels as irie as they.
Oh, the sorrows that lay ahead for this smoker. This is the stoner that knows no pace. Due to their financial situation that afforded them a lawn seat and just two grams of sticky-icky. What’s worse is their lack of pace that’ll have them smoke both grams under peer pressure before 8:30 Looking all white-eyed and hopeless as house music plays before Wiz and Snoop take the stage, the broke stoner will look out into the distance wishing someone was out there passing leaf to all underprivileged stoners in attendance.
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