10 Reasons Guns N' Roses Shouldn't Reunite at Coachella

This is considered exciting in 2016?
This is considered exciting in 2016?
Timothy Norris

So Guns N’ Roses is going to reunite for Coachella and some stadium shows. That’s cool and all, but does the world really need GNR back right now? Can’t honestly say that it does, but everyone will surely still be super excited to see them come April. Anyway, here are 10 reasons we really don’t need a GNR reunion at Coachella.

10. It’s been over two decades.

If there was going to be a GNR reunion, it would’ve been smart to do it 10-15 years ago instead of that weird Axl and Buckethead lineup that people pretended was GNR. People will always care about GNR, but the bulk of their original fans would be making their teenage or twentysomething children very jealous by going to Coachella without them.

9. They won’t be the same.

Beyond the musical talent, Guns N’ Roses brought a griminess and attitude about them that was far more real than the hair metal bands before them. Can that same youth and rebelliousness carry into their 50s? Probably not. Hell, Slash is a clean-living father these days. That’s not GNR.

8. The music world has changed.

Why hasn’t there been another Appetite for Destruction? Because very few (if any) popular bands put out full records worth listening to. Digital music has turned music into a business of singles and videos, and Guns N’ Roses probably isn’t putting out a “Hotline Bling” cover anytime soon.

7. Chinese Democracy was underwhelming.

If you spend a decade making an album, it better be a damn good album. Chinese Democracy wasn’t, and was pretty much only purchased because of its name and legacy. Will they play songs from it or just act like it doesn’t exist? That’s a question we should never have to ponder.

6. Who all will actually play every show?

Alright, so Slash and Axl allegedly made up. Duff McKagan is rumored to be in, and they’ll figure out the rest later. Sure, those three (and possibly Steven Adler/Matt Sorum) are the important ones, but who’s going to play rhythm guitar? Are they going to travel as a five-piece or add extra parts like they’ve been doing? What if it’s just Slash and Axl as an acoustic show? Alright, that would be pretty awesome.

5. Axl Rose has kind of become a joke.

Short of Kid Rock’s fight at a Waffle House, Axl has picked some of the most ridiculous fights in rock history. He’s also spewed enough nonsense about everyone ever involved with GNR (and other music, for that matter) that it’s amazing the band is even willing to reform with him at this point. He’s actually caused so many headaches that he’s just not taken seriously anymore. These days, when you see a photo of Axl on the internet, it’s usually in the form of a meme.

Guns N Broses
Guns N Broses
Timothy Norris
4. GNR is going to become “cool” again.

You’re a hardcore Guns N’ Roses fan and you’re stoked for their comeback? Well get ready to share your favorite band with every hipster who’s ever listened to “Paradise City.” It’s going to be like Kanye sampling Daft Punk all over again.

3. There’s serious potential for implosion.

Let’s be honest, it’s going to be kind of a letdown if everyone gets along for their whole tour and there isn’t some giant meltdown in the middle of it, no? It’s never fun to see a band unravel, but it seems like GNR is asking for it at this point.

2. Coachella is for the youth.

Anyone over the age of 30 really needs a reason to be at Coachella. Sure, there’ll always be a band or two there to draw an older crowd (see: Steely Dan), but a lot of Coachella is twentysomethings who want to get sunburnt enough to develop skin cancer and do enough drugs to give their parents a heart attack. Someone like Travis Scott is going to end up as the performer right before GNR and it’s going to seem ridiculous. If Axl and Slash want to get the band back together, Coachella may seem like a better place to debut than it really is.

There's still time to back out, guys...
There's still time to back out, guys...
Timothy Norris
1. Where’s the integrity?
After all those years of hating each other, Axl is really about to get back together with everyone else in GNR? Considering the hate that’s been projecting from his mouth for the last 20 years, this could be an aging singer in need of attention and money more than someone really wanting to make peace and revive a legendary band.


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