This might be the dumbest batch of criminals in this column's history, but the most laughable part of this story from southern Florida? The headline: “Should've run for the border.” Shouldn't it bey “Should've set sail on a raft” down in those parts? Anyhoo:
A cup of soda thrown on the front door of a Bonita Springs Taco Bell
and a rock hurled at a car causing more than $1,000 in damage lead to
the arrests of two people for criminal mischief.
Jessie Rena Flores, 28, of the 12000 block of Carpenter Lane, Bonita
Springs, and Jason Randall Guzman, 26, of the 11000 block of Safari
Lane, Bonita Springs, were each charged with criminal mischief causing
$1,000 or more in damages.
According to Lee County Sheriff's Office reports:
On Jan. 16, a woman driving a Jeep pulled into the drive through and
placed an order. The cashier gave her the food, she handed it to some
back-seat passengers and told cashier Jesse Brandon Lopez Whitney, 25,
half of her order was missing.
Whitney said he knew she received the full order, but she and others
in the Jeep became very belligerent. He gave in and made three extra
The woman drove forward and yelled: “I just ripped you off
(expletive)” and threw a cup of soda at the front door of the business.