Considering Sunday's 7.2 earthquake just south of
the 4.1 shaker six miles southwest of
and assorted aftershocks felt up and down the state as this is banged out with fingers crossed, it's
obvious God is peeved at something. Before Pat Robertston, Wiley Drake or
the “God Hates Fags” douchebag weigh in with their usual suspects behind you-know-who's wrath, here are the real 10 reasons God hates
1) New polling that shows a majority of Californians support:
Obamacare; politicians who voted for the bill; a temporary guest worker
program; a path to citizenship for undocumented workers and the Kenyan in the
2) GOP frontrunner for governor Meg Whitman calling for more
prison building–without identifying any specific funding source for them. Who does she think she is? A Democratic state legislator?
3) The Oakland Raiders failure to grab quarterback Donovan
McNabb, who the Eagles traded to the Redskins. 'Cause everyone knows the Almighty bleeds Silver and Black.
4) Heaven's Apple store ran out of iPads.
5) Charlie Sheen possibly leaving Two and a Half Men.
6) Still shaken over Jesse James cheating on Sandra Bullock.
7) Still shaken over that Chuy Bravo porn video.
8) Her ride to Coachella fell through.
9) The Lakers failing to show up at Staples for a game against the Spurs–a Sunday game. The Lakers don't lose on Sundays at Staples. And on Easter Sunday!?!
10) Saddleback pastor Rick Warren marking Resurrection Day at Anaheim Stadium by trotting out the Jonas Brothers. Everyone knows the King of Kings swings with Justin Bieber.
So, smite you, California!