The Slightly Frightening World of Star Wars-Related Foods
Star Wars cupcakes? Oh, please. The Internet is much more creative than that. So powerful is the draw of the Force that nerds the world over are drawn to make a universe of Star Wars-related foods. Some of them are a little more . . . hmm . . . artisanal than others, but when you're obsessed, it shows even in the product of your kitchen. Some of the items below even have directions, in case you're so inclined. (If you have a picture of Star Wars-related food, post a link in a comment! The nerdier the better.)
1. Darth Egg Salad Sandwich
Confession time. We'd totally make this. We'd totally make this in the privacy of our own homes, and then eat it in a closet where nobody could see our secret shame. It's the best (only?) reason ever to buy a Darth Vader helmet-shaped cookie cutter: Darth Egg Salad sandwiches. The recipe? Over at justjennrecipes.com. Forewarned is forearmed: The recipe calls for a tablespoon of hot sauce, so just like its namesake, it will kick your ass.
Kids won't eat enough fruit? Fine. Make a Death Star Melon, following the directions at Evil Mad Scientist, and they still won't eat it, but at least they'll laugh at you.
3. Wampa of Hoth
Oh, what to do with those old coconut shells and chiles left over from making homemade Thai food? I know! Let's make a Wampa. And a really disturbing illuminated pineapple.
4. Millennium Falcon Pizza
Don't play with your food; it's got to complete the Kessel run in fewer than 12 parsecs. (Oh, Han Solo, you great buffoon, parsecs measure distance, not time.) Still, if you sprinkle some oregano on it, you may convince a particularly gullible kid that it's Glitterstim spice.
5. Darth Vader Ice Cream
This isn't a homemade confection. No, no. This is a nominally Darth Vader-shaped ice-cream pop sold by Briggs Ice Cream and vended by ice-cream trucks all over Los Angeles. Seriously. Flag one down and ask. Nobody will think you're a creeper just because you're a 40-year-old man at an ice-cream truck. Really.
6. Nerf Steak
"How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?" If your little nerdling is protein-shy, rather than trying to convince him that Mom's meatloaf is actually proteinloaf from Dex's Diner on the planet Coruscant, just fake up a label on some steaks and tell him you've just come back from the nerfherder.
7. Bubble City "Salad"
The recipe is from a Star Wars cookbook, but the person who did this rendition had to be from the Midwest. Or maybe Utah. Bicoastal people just don't talk about Jell-O™ molds as salads. Nor, honestly, do they replicate Bubble City, replete with creepy action figure. Kudos to you, anonymous Midwestern Jedi!
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