It's Cyber Monday, that analogue to Friday's truly shameful display of American consumerism. (Seriously, that image of the woman's butt crack in the video for the $2 toasters? Some things you can never un-see.)
Our brethren and sistren at the Houston Press wrote a great list of why Cyber Monday is better than Black Friday, but they've ignored the important part--while you're arranging for delivery of gifts, you can also arrange for delivery of food. If you live in a civilized town such as New York, there are easily more than 100 restaurants that will deliver to your apartment. If you live in the 'burbs like we do here in OC, your choices are more limited. Here are five of the best options that allow you to not leave your seat.
The default delivery food is convenient, nearly every neighborhood has at least two delivery places, and sometimes the great little mom-and-pop shop down the street will deliver a pie that's several steps above the Domino's and Little Caesars of the world. The downside is that it tends to be greasy, and that's not good for your manky old keyboard.
If you're deft with chopsticks, you can stay clean while eating Chinese delivery. Just stay away from gloppy choices such as shrimp in lobster sauce or ma po tofu; stick with tried-and-true Chinese-American dishes such as orange chicken, beef broccoli or sesame noodles. After all, when you're basking in the glow of your screen's flicker, nobody can hear you slurp.
Most Mexican places, at least around here, don't deliver, but those that do tend to deliver such extremely shopper-friendly foods as burritos and tacos. Hold the burrito in your non-dominant hand while you click around with your right hand. If you do it quickly enough, you can eat an entire meal before your Best Buy shopping cart expires.
There's nothing wrong with a good, ol'-fashioned sandwich. After all, you can order it without getting up, which means you don't have to go downstairs and actually fuss with bread, meat, cheese and condiments. Just try to stay with normal-sized options; it's embarrassing to have to IM your friends to tell them you dislocated your jaw while eating a pastrami sandwich.
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While Chinese is an awesome choice, Thai is even better. It has the same sort of structure, except the flavors are typically bolder. You can get great soups that you can drink straight from the foam bowl, and everything except noodles are eaten with a spoon--neatness counts! Just go easy on the spice; running for water (or milk) could cause you to miss the lockbox deal you want on Amazon.