Oh my Lord, this column LIVES for crimes like the following.
From that place of class known as West Roxbury, Massachusetts:
Police arrested and charged a South Weymouth man with operating a motor vehicle under the influence of alcohol after a citizen called 911 to say that two people were passed out in a car behind Taco Bell.
Around 3:22 p.m. on May 10, police found two people passed out with multiple cans of beer strewn inside throughout the vehicle.
Police arrested Nicholas Camilleri, of 38 Durant Road, South Weymouth, and charged him with driving under the influence of alcohol.
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An officer reached inside the the half-open driver's side window and removed the keys from the ignition as both occupants were asleep. The officer then knocked on the glass and the driver opened his eyes, looked at the officer sitting up quickly, and allegedly said, "Oh (expletive)!"
A second officer knocked on the passenger side window to wake the passenger.
Officers saw both occupants with open Budweiser cans in their hands, and the driver was using a half-empty 30-pack as an armrest.