Ron De Jeremy, Our Drink of the Week
One Eyed Liquors

Ron De Jeremy, Our Drink of the Week

Sometime in summer 2011, we got wind of a new boutique rum . . . named Ron de Jeremy. Ron, of course, is the Spanish word for rum, and because the concept was at once ridiculous and brilliant, your Weekly editorial staff got ahold of a sample from One Eyed Spirits, the Finnish producer of the Panamian rum. At that time, distribution hadn't been sorted out yet, but now, the Hedgehog's rums (yes, there are two flavors now) are penetrating the Orange Curtain.

How'd this happen? Some guys in Finland thought it would be hilarious to track down the living porn legend and ask him to endorse a product that would bear his name. It turns out Jeremy isn't much of a drinker, but agreed anyway, and so "The Adult Rum" was born. Yes, we think it's a stupid tagline, too.

Finland's not exactly known as a rum-producing nation, but no worries. The distiller, Francisco "Don Pancho" Fernandes, is a Cuban who once produced that nation's Havana Club rum before settling in Panama, so there are actual experts making the stuff that's placed in a bottle bearing Jeremy's likeness.

What's it like? Like most rums, Ron de Jeremy is distilled from molasses. If you're a fan of rhum agricole, which starts with fresh cane juice and yields more complex flavors and aromas in the finished product than molasses, then Ron de Jeremy won't deliver those back-of-the-mouth sensations of vanilla bean and caramel.

Your Weekly tasters sampled it both neat and mixed with Reed's Extra Ginger Beer in a Dark and Stormy. Honestly, it's a perfectly decent, drinkable rum, but one-note and lacking subtlety. Like Jeremy's porn body of work, his original-flavor rum is a large, blunt-force object delivering a burning sensation with a no-surprises ending.

I met and like Ron Jeremy, who's a charming, articulate guy with strong opinions on food. So I might have to take back my assessment of his rum if we get our hands on the new Ron de Jeremy Spiced Rum. We haven't had a chance to try it yet, but we're told it's made to compete with Captain Morgan and Sailor Jerry. How will it stand up against this stiff competition? Jeremy told me, "Captain Morgan has one leg. I have three."

In case you missed it, check out the Weekly's NSFW slideshow of Jeremy's booze-signing at Sweet's Liquors, the first store in Orange County that carries Ron de Jeremy.

Sweet's Liquors, 15553 Beach Blvd., Westminster, (714) 892-5712.

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